It weren't like this ;

2010-06-02T07:20:00.000-07:00

I do change , You too.
Cant be blamed. This is human being (:

I got tired, I let go, It might be pain but also a relieve.
I know I cant force things into my ways, I wont. I'll let go.
I know force brings no happiness ; Let go might be better ? (:

OMG ! I Love x. ZHUZHU.

Today , Went t PTO session again. Nothing much.
Learn bout personal grooming.
*SkinCare
*HairCare
*CPF ; Colour/ Proportion/ Fit (:

After that , x.zhuzhu came find me. Slack while.
Study again ): Then have t chiong my F. Art. !
Chiong editing my Art pictures into photo.
Mommy help me t bring them down t print due t my probation !
Homed. Talking t x.ZhuZhu ! (:
Always quarrel with him ; I also dont know why we are like this.
x.jun told me a joke. !
We learn what at the grooming at PTO. He did it ! FUNNY :x
HAHAH. I'm tired. Tmr maybe going t school ? Notsure.

Love really sucks.

In short . I dontwant t be like my past just fr a guy.
I know this time quarreling with him, Making the decision t leave ; Really hurts.
But , Other than this, what can I do ?

I knwo my faults , In short . I dont admit. What fr when he have t ?
Whatever I commit a fault, All thanks t him.
He say I act what angel all this, LOL . LMAO.
I should tell everyone your story sia. & What I've done.
Eh , Comeon lah. I not acting great . What fr act great?
LMAO. I dontneed you ! I cant stand on my own.

Anyway, Since when have you been my pillar? I dont think so.
Since when you've tried t create memories? I doubt so.
Since when you'll cherish me ? LAUGH.

Okay , Let see my Faults (:

Yours ; Pearlyn ? Take what number? hong what at friendster? ; LAUGH.

MINE ; Edwin & Vincent jio me nia. You also at thr KP. Anything t do with you ?
Yours: Charyl. What be her stead ? LMAO.

Yours ; Go so close t those girl FR FCUK ?
MINE ; Go talk t shani, salman & TZP AS A FRIEND. bout what? JOKES !

Yours ; Hong who till so happy? XBEE. LAUGHS !
MY GIRL , TALK T HER TILL 3AM, WHAT APPOINTMENT, WHAT MEET.
LAme fcuk, still got alot more. what pangseh all this? LOL !
MINE; JIALIANG ; A SILLY ONLY. ! LAUGHS.

YUP. All my faults all here alr. Did I miss anything out ? If so , Please tell me (:

Yup; LET GO BEST LAHHH .
Yup, Lawrence also.He my good friend, cannot?
I also say dont control you alr, right? Go hong lah (:
W/o me , you're much happier.

No-one will nag at you .
No-one will ask you t study .
No-one will text you .
No-one will ask you go sch .
No-one will ask you t revise .
No-one will let you scold .
No-one will trouble you .
No-one will let you hit .
No-one will ever say I LOVE YOU TRULY .
No-one will pester you fr your msg .
No-one will pester you at MSN .
No-one will stalk your facebook .
No-one will ask you why you add girls .
No-one will keep asking you where are you .
No-one will auto call you .
No-one will send you morning msg .
No-one will ask you fr patch .
No-one will ask you fr break .
No-one will ever shout at you .
No-one will ever scold you .
No-one will make you cry .
No-one will say you're useless .
No-one will say you need your certs .
No-one will say she'll care fr you .
No-one will say she'll wait fr you when you come out of NS .
No-one will pinch your fats .
No-one will force you t eat .
No-one will ask you t make memories .
No-one will ask you t go universal .
No-one will send you happy anniversary .

FROM TODAY ONWARDS .
I wont care . I'll rmb every fcuking words that came out from your mouth .
You can me a bitch , you call me a fcuker , you call me a dog .
You said I bloody shit, I useless , I only know how t giveup .

COMEON !
When you're with xbee that time, how many times I've hold you ?
Ask you who you text ?
Why never text me ?
Why you never care me ?
Why we changed so much ?
Why we become like this ?
Baby , can you tell me ?
Baby , did I do something wrong ?
Can we study together ?
I'll change myself just fr you ?
Why must contact her ?
What fr I go find her ? ; T enjoy ?
What fr you lied t me ?
What fr you've t hurt me?

xbing is when I'm not with you. I have never been unfaithful .
YOU ? HONG . HONG TILL OVER THE LIMIT .
Fcukoff ! I dont need you this kinda boyfriend.

I know my faults.
Eyanne. Attitude. Hong. What else? My friends?
ENough is enough. Fcukoff. GOODBYE.
I've nothing t do with you !

When a love sucks ,
Dont even bother t say ILOVEYOU.

2010-06-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

Goodbye , My love.

I dontknow how am I feeling now.
Sad? Angry? Agitated? Nothing? Happy?

Monday , 31MAY2010 (:

Went t PTO program, Ate at Kopi Roti w. Terence, KianTeck, Fahdil, Farhan, YueHan.
Met, Cynthia & Honey at MCYC.
End program, Met Baby.
Back. Tired. Sleepy.
Nothing much fr today.
; As usual , Quarrels _|_

TODAY ! Tuesday , 01June2010 _|_

Nothing is good today!
Wokeup about , 8plus, showered > school about 0935am ?
TIRED ! ): Drag on. Went t do some sketches, Paint my wood.
Preparing fr my FINAL. Went home bout 12noon.
HE is not texting me neither I dontknow what he wants.
I'm tired of you , really. You just made me lost.
Went home , went t hospital acc Mommy t bring Ahmah t the doc.
Went t eat , Food not nice ! ): But did tried t finish.
Went home, Mommy went t meet Aunt Wendy . I stay at home.
Eyanne is crying, I cant do my work at all.
Dad came bakck , he tookcare Eyanne, I went on w. my work.
Almost done ! (: Print pictures, Mogu help me find bout love.

Perhaps I was wrong in the beginning.

Baby , I dontknow how t explain t you at all .
You said everything bout me but why dint you just care about me ?
Maybe what I've told others make you feel that , I just said my part.
Maybe? But , Have you even think of what I told them ?
I have done wrong things , I know. But who dontknow I'm changing ?
I really dontwant t blame you fr everything. But why are you still doing this t me ?
Am I a fool ? Maybe, I'm tired. Forsaken. What can I do ?

Yes, you said I hong other boys by putting a heart-shape.
Why not you think bout you, yourself? ;
Calling another MY GIRL when you're w. me? ; I got enough.
Since you always say I act angel , I Fcuker & everything.

Fine, I accept that. Just dont forget this, When you lose it, It wont come back.
I know, I know. You just say. Go ahead. I dontneed you this kinda of girlfr. So be it.

I might be having all faults. But You dint even told me a single thing.
Even Mommy have t tell me what I done wrong.
As a boyfr. ? Did you even tried? NO. Why ? How would I know.
All you know is hurt me physically & mentally.
Pushing all blames at me, I bear it but you? Though I do shoot you back.
Would you rather I shoot or rather we break?

Things are done by you , if you never do , would I even shoot you ?
Maybe you think that IS YOUR FAULT.
But you think by saying that , everything just go away like that? NO.
It wont go away. I tried t forget , but can I ?

I just dont want t post what you said bout me & eyanne.
Mommy will see this. Mind you. I alr wordless t you.

Even my son at the just put a heart shape, you can scold me.
My PM said Fcukoff, you said you will. What kinda boyfr are you?
Aft that fcuking incident, I changed. YES. TOTALLY.
Cause , I no longer have the trust in you.
I really wish I can be like the past but somehow, why I cant?

I just want you t contact me like how you do when we're sec 1.
How we hug & communicate during sec 1.
But why cant you even do that .
You'll text me if I dont reply in 30mins. "Baby, busy? why nvr reply?"
Now? I'm totally like a fool. Really. WHY ?! I really got irritated.

End everything w. a tear not a kiss.

2010-05-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

I want you, I want you !

I know things are changing. So be it. Dont push any further ?

Today , nothing much .
Wokeup at 9plus > showered !
> Warren country club t eat DimSum w. Mom, Dad, Clar,Charlene, Grandparents, Eyanne.
I'm tired ]: Clar went home.

Went t hospital t visit my aunt after that (:
Went till 4plus, went t have a break at TOAST.

Went t Expo after that ! (: ALOT OF FAIRS.
OMG, we at thr waiting fr my car t go in , since 0445pm.
Dad & Charlene went in first.
Mom, Me, Eyanne in the car waiting. TIRED ]:
Mom wantd t go toilet urgently.
Dad came out, Me & mom, Eyanne went t find toilet.
Laughs. We ran up & down ! LMAO.
TIREDDD.

Went walking ard the fairs.
I went t IT wantd t find Baby's Naga Razer, But donthave ):
So , Went home. Ate dinner. DONE !
Online (: Laughh. Talking t Mogu now.
Baby left me alone. NVM,
Maybe things will be better later on ?
TIREd.

I LOVE MOGU !

2010-05-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

I know we cant never last like the past anymore.

Today , Very tired ]:

Morning wokeup ard , 1010am?
Wanted t meet VPO. & Wifey since he never text me, so dint meet him.
Showered, prepared. Off t meet Wifey at Orchard ; ION.
We're in the same train w/o knowing till I called her.
Wifey went Orchard t interview fr her DUNKIN' DONUT ! [:

We first walk t basement 4 , walked 2 round cant see the shop ard.
We went t the directory t check. Donthave. I told wifey , tio bomb (:
Wifey called the person, they said it was B2 .
We @ B4 , so took a escalator t B3 then take 1 more escalator.
Make me laugh. ION storeys so weird. We ended up in B1. So went down.
Went t her interview, We went t shopshop at ION. Nothing much.
Went on t Wisma Atrium ; Wifey want t see her last time d colleagues (:
Went around t see again, nothing much.

Went on t TAKA , Wifey & I just talk & walkd w/o any aims.
Walk ard, See things. Finally, Settle at MAC's .

Went out of TAKA. T see painting (: bought water.
Went on walking t CINE Leisure (: Went t the highest floor & walkd down.
HAHA. Tired man !
Then went > cinema> Fred Perry> More than words> Pushcarts.

Decided t go Toa Payoh t shop again.
Mom text me t tell me she's going ahma house.
Bused- 143 t TPY. WALK AGAIN.

My legs are breaking man ! ):
PAINNNNNNNNN .

Went t shopshop. See things.
Wifey goes t meet Donavan & I headed t West Coast fr a walk.
Went down, walk & think. Meet that dumb ! ; Talk abit. I went off.
I'm tired. I really reflect alot alr. I dontknow what are things like that.

Went home but taking 175 , > Clementi. Buy food> home.

Lastly, I'm waiting fr his msg in vain.
My legs are breaking. I'm not crying.
I cant cry cause my heart is numb. WHY ?
I know I chose t end but you'll never learn your mistakes again.

I'm tired ! ): My legs are hurting. My heart is numb.
I just wish t bid a goodbye t your past & say hello t a new you.
Why is not happening at all ?
Did I did something so wrong that you're always like that ?
; I'm tired of you. Bye.

LET PICTURES TALK .

Every kiss from me t you meant somethiing, wifey (:

LastLove from me t you. Wifey, I love you.

I need you dearly wifey.

ForeverLove ; T. DyinYin & CharmaineT.

I LOVE HER ! (:

We really share everything !

24/05/10 . We fall in love.

LADYY STAR.

2010-05-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

I dont know what I'm feeling now.
I'm just so lost that I've just bid a goodbye t you.

Today , Wokeup > Showered > Play with Eyanne
Stayed at home > BBQ. !

Tired of saying.
PITURES TALKS.

Starting fire.

Dad. Aunt. Maid.

Red wine ! (:

Sparkling juice.

BBQ Food.
Eyanne's Mum-mum.

Salad.

2010-05-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

Dont trust in love cause love never trust you.

Todayyy. LAST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOL !
(: Haha. I've end my suspension. Thank god. I'm not boreddddd anymore.
1st lesson was ARTS. Sian half already. Did some ideas & development.
2nd lesson, Physic change into faculty talk. LOL.
I saw my class chart so high , I thought alot ppl passed.
THEN ?! IS FAILURES. OMFG. I was shocked man.

Went back t class during lesson.
He just threw his tantrum on me. He pushed me, He push my table.
I'm already very tired of you hurting my physically & mentally.
Really. I'm very very tired. I wish I could just let you go.
Everyone have limit, Really. Everyone does.

Maths was next. Did some work. I think I've t work harder alr.
English , changed t giving out of report books.

End school , Went t eat w. ZhongPeng, Salman.
Went t meet him awhile. Homed aft that.
Showerd > Tuition > Online > Blogging now.

I'm the way I am.

I'm the way I am. I dont wish t change anymore further.
I know how t love myself & Eyanne.
I wont let anyone t ruin me & Eyanne again.

I'm really tired of giving in. I'm alr very patient t you.
I really wished everything will be right fr us.
Ever since that incident, I really made myself giveup on you.
I was wishing that you never did that t me.
Everyone is calling me a stupid fr doing that t you.
I shouldn't have be with you but t dump you aside.
But I never though my attitude dint make it at times.

But I think, I've done my part as a girlfr.
As long things is within my means, I'll do it.

"WHAT EACH KISS MEANS"
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...

Sometimes, I just being t nice t you & you step over me.
I used t love you alot, I can never leave w/o you.
But aft that incident, somehow, you meant nothing t me anymore.
Or rather not as important as the past. I wishd things never changed.
I, myself know what I can never be like the past.

Aafterall, I just want t let you go.

When a guy calls u,
he wants to be with you.

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you.

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong.

When a guy says, "I'm fine, "
after a few minutes,
he means it. He gives in t you.

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do?

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love.

When a (good) guy says he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else

Baby , If you really love me.
This is what you should be doing.
I just dont wish t mention what you've done.

Baby, this is dedicated t you.

你的臉貼在我胸口
淚水早已滲透了我的衣袖
你我都沉默了許久
不該說的話你終於說出口
擁抱過後你轉身就走
我笑著說再見心卻在顫抖
我已沒有勇氣問你
離開的理由

想說聲愛你已很久
可我從來都沒有
以前我對你不夠好
我也很難受

只怪自己當初沒有抓緊你的手
失去了你我才知道你有多重要
現在說後悔也沒有用
心雖然很痛
只怪自己當初沒有將愛說出口
現在想說聲愛你已找不到借口
失去你以後
我連呼吸也好難受

擁抱過後你轉身就走
我笑著說再見心卻在顫抖
我已沒有勇氣問你
離開的理由
想說聲愛你已很久
可我從來都沒有
以前我對你不夠好
我也很難受

只怪自己當初沒有抓緊你的手
失去了你我才知道你有多重要
現在說後悔也沒有用
心雖然很痛
只怪自己當初沒有將愛說出口
現在想說聲愛你已找不到借口
失去你以後
我連呼吸也好難受

只怪自己當初沒有抓緊你的手
失去了你我才知道你有多重要
現在說後悔也沒有用
心雖然很痛
只怪自己當初沒有將愛說出口
現在想說聲愛你已找不到借口
失去你以後
我連呼吸也好難受

2010-05-26T07:32:00.000-07:00

I wish that I dont even know what is love.

It is Wednesday today.
Let me start off with my week.

MONDAY , 24/5

Baby meet me at bus-stop t go sch (:
OMFG. I'm bored t death man.
SUSPENSION. In house d somemore.
I dint bring anything. I brought Eyanne's Fan along fr me t enjoy.
Baby came t visit me. I'm tired though.
I dont really have good attitude. I know.
He'lin walked away as she dint want t have in-house suspension.
I wish nothing can ever hurt me deep.
Have PTO tday , with parents but Mom dint go w. me, neither did dad.
Baby meet me, Went t eat. He flared up.
I also dontknow why nowadays we like that.
The content, I wont share. End up he still send me there.
I went alone. Georgina, Anson & I dint have parents.
We were acting as each other parents'.
Dad & Mom came t pick me w. Eyanne.
Went home, online. Watch shows. Facebook. Dint blog.
Slept late cos , I've been thinking. I'm weak.

TUESDAY , 25/5

Baby meet me at bus-stop t go sch (:
2nd day of suspension. I can die man. !!
At least there are new comers today (:
ZhiHan & Alvin. HAHA. !
Talkd t them , Told ghost stories. Crapping around (:
I'm tired again. At least ! I managed t sleep.
Tired, Tired, Tired ! LOL .
Went t eat w. He'Lin.
As usual , Baby come find me.
Everytime also quarrel. Very tired alr.
I dontknow if oneday, I cant tahan, I might just bid goodbye.
Went home early. Dint do anything. Just want t pei Eyanne.

You can never understand me, WHY ?

TODAY ! 26May2010

Todayyyyye. Is Eyanne 5th Month ! HAHAHAHA.
She is finally growing up. I'm happy. All thanks t my mommy.
Went t sch. LAST DAY OF SUSPENSION. ! WOOOHOO.
I went sch ALONE today. Just cause he late, dint even bother t text me.

Seriously, I dontknow where is your future. I just hope you'll wakeup.
I dontknow how long I can tolerate you. I might just hate your actions.
I wishd you just can be like me though I'm not perfect.

JianHao & Yuyang fought today.
Somehow, Yuyang, just dontknow how t think. JH also.
They just behaving like kids. Yuyang, Please! Know what you doing, can?
Talk t ZhiHan & Alvin. Crapping ard.
Went off sch, dint went anywhere BUT home.
Stayd at home t takecare Eyanne. Went out bout 0315?
Went t meet them then head t PTO .
Very dry but I did learn things {:
Went home, He didnt even text me.
Online, Eat my KFC.
He just text me at 10pm , said he sleeping. I also dk lah.

I dontwant t talk any further.
Let the pictures talk
[:

honey love.

Dearie love.

Brother & Sister

One BIG family.

Brothers & Sisters.

NG 1 ):
Happy family.

2010-05-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

What if I bid goodbye t you ?

I'm damn tired ):
Went fr tuition tday. Tutor give me the blur look.
LMAO. Went out w. parents tday, T IMM.
Nothing much.
Had dinner at Crystal Jade ! (:
LOL . Post tmr ! (:
Takecare dudes.

2010-05-22T04:49:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of every hard fall you've caused.

People. I dontknow what's going on my life.
I'm tired of everything is happening t me.
I'm tired of being the now me. I wish past can come back.

Let me tell you things first on today & ystd.

FRIDAY , 21/May/10

Went t school, as usual.
Baby is back from suspension.
Chiong t the hall w. Baby & Baby said he dontwant t go hall cos hot.
I forced him t go. He sat behind me then keep complaining.
I got really flared up. I gave him attitude.
Mother tongue reading. left 5mins due t Mrs Kee Long speech on GohKimSwee.
Maths [: I did corrections fr SA1.
Chinese , Did the compo given. First time (:
English , Didnt do much. Did some compo on my future job [:
History , Mrs Toh didnt make us stay late ! [: AHAHA.
First time (:
Went t Cantonment after that. Till 5plus then end.
I was very tired. The fcuking room was so cold till I caught a cold.
I wasn't feeling well.
Dint online, Tired, Sick. Slept at 0735pm.
I was really very sick.

TODAYYY ! (:

I was really tired ]:
I wokeup ard 8plus, I accompany Mommy t bring ahma t Yishun.
I'm really tired but still want t go.
AHAHAH ! Went there, Mommy bring us t 925 d coffee shop t pack things t eat.
Eat wan ton noodles. It seems t be so great on pages.
In short, IT SUCKS.
Zenzero also came along (:
Fetch ahma t Kovan aft that. Brought Zen t Grooming {:
Went home aft that , Brought my maid t shopshop at 4plus.
Went t Jurong Point (:
Ate there, Came home around 8plus.
Tired, Talking t Baby & Friends on msn !
Later watching my show then head t bed.
Got tuition tmr.
Think till monday suspension, I sian liao.

MY HOROSCOPE. LEO (:

The Taurus Moon brings opportunities in your career andreputation;
the impression you make now could be a lasting one.
If you are given new responsibilities, think carefully before accepting.
you are ready to prove what you are made of and are certain your
relationships won't suffer, then prepare to meet the challenge!
Auspicious colours are garnet red and dove grey.
Lucky numbers are 6 and 10.

2010-05-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

Love really turns me down my road.

I really tired, VERY TIRED.
Somehow, My life is getting more & more tired.

Today !

Went t school FOR EXCURSION !
FUNNNNNNNN [:
But the waiting time , CUI ]:

Went t sch , WAITED THE BUS since 0740am-0830am !
LONG MAN ! ]:
Board the bus , left sch at 0821am .
REACHED THERE AT 0932am. 1 hour plus ride.
I was sleeping ! [:
Went t check in then off t games !
ALOT OF PEOPLE. Mostly , ITE students.

Went in > Walk w. Class > Linger ard > School.

Alot of funny thing have happened ! ;
Let me post the pictures & Explain t you (:

Brazil & Asshida ! [:
Their bus, beside mine ! [:

Waiting t be check.

While walking !

NAVY OPEN HOUSE ! [:
2010 !

The place where all the games are !

The officers !

Sea viewww ! [:

This is the first guy i saw playing , which not from my school.

Ridzwan was the first t play !

UNGLAM ! ]:

STRUCK ! OOPS !
Stupid Botak ! [:

Jeff the 2nd (:

Salman ! 3rd (:

Getting readyyy !

GET READY T LAUGH YOUR ASS OUT ! THE LAST ONE IS DAMN FUNNY !

BURGERRRR ! Getting readyyy !

OHMY. ! He is going the wrong wayyy !
OOPS !

HERE I FLY !!
ARGHHH . Finally !

Best part ! No girls tried this game.
EXCEPT FR NADIAA !
I really laughh.

EEEw ! what I'm doing ?!
I'm laughhingg !
Can you see ?!

Balloon ! I really love you, balloon !

I'm tired of everything ]:

Laughhhs ! I really enjoyyedd myself.
The only thing is Baby is not w. me !
FUNNN !
I playd games then WIN ALOOTT !

Suthev ; GOD HAND on something * !
AHAHA ! [:
Went back t sch , Baby pick me.
Go slack awhile. Home. !
Tired. Tuition, I dontknow can make it fr my N level not.
I'm getting more & more worried :[
Nevermind, I'll chiong all the wayyyyy !

I might be cold t you ,
Cause, I just cant be like the past.

2010-05-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

You shall be my last love ;
Let this tide over & refresh the time.

Time wont wait fr you.

TODAYYYY!

Baby on home suspension.
Hai , I sian half. Baby cant pei me ]:
Today , LATE FOR SCHOOL ! ;
-Stupid guard , never open the gate !

Went t class ;

ENGLISH
Nothing t do.

MATHS
Did correction fr Baby & Myself ;

CHINESE
Thomas Ong say want t see me d ,
BUT ! End up ? Never ]: Cos he t busy !
Went back t class.
As usual ! FAIL CHINESE.
But ! Got improvement ! [:
TZP help me t get Chicken burger & Green Tea ! [:

RECESS
Did nothing.

CHEMISTRY
Sadded fr my marks. DAMN SHAGG.
Will work harder fr PRELIMS [:

PHYSICS !
Should be the highest in N2? 32/50 ! [:
WAAAAA !
Laughhs. GOT SOME PEOPLE damn CONFIDENT . OOPS !

End school , > home> Metta home !
Reporting. Tired ]:

Meet Mommy in the train as she not driving tday.
Went home > online > dinner !

Im tired ]: Sleeping soon !

Crash me up & down
& bid the last goodbye

Seriously, I dontknow what I've done t deserve all this in my life.
I really feel that I'm a bloody idiot who struck in F. Shoes.
If you're never me , you'll never understand !
If you want t say you're tired of me , I'm much more tired of you.

I cant even find a person who can tolerate their partner like I did.
The more I think, The more I find myself stupid.
I give in , want your care, then ?!
Now is reciprocal. Dont come bull-shit me all crap lah.

You come tell me lah.
As your GirlFr, WHAT I HAVE NOT DONE ?
& WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
I got tired ! Fcuking tired.
I'll let you go when the time comes.
I holding you , fr reasons & memories.
I really find nothing in myself anymore.
I cant have the past me. I've give in t much.
If you think that I've become like the past. You're the one who change me.

I hate memories that we've created.

W/O them , I can let you go FOR SURE.

2010-05-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

If you ever know known me, I'll love you.

TODAYYYYE ! [:

Went t school as usual .

Today got back Social studies , English & Maths paper.

Social Studies - 25/50

- I got 2 in the class fr passing ! BINGO ! [:

English - 58.2 / 100 [ Overall ]

English P1 - 16/30 & 16/30 !

English P2 - 45/80

-Dint really do well in it.

Maths - 44/100

Maths P1 - 46/80

Maths P2 - 16/60

- Want feeling well. FEVER!

DAMN IT ! I didnt work hard enough.

I'll work harder man. I wont flung my prelims !

I need my past me d motivation , I cant find it.

Baby is gonna t studyyyy w. ME !

Came home bout 0245pm .

Chiong t prepared. Met Baby at Westmall.

Buy his milk , went t PTO. Baby send me.

PTO , was bored today. 1 of the PO is there.

Baby fetch me from PTO.

Went t westmall t eat.

Baby & I went home after that.

Homed, Online, FB & blogging !

2010-05-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

True love can withstand test.

Dont ever test me if you had never known me ;
Cause I wont even give face t you.

TODAY [:

Went t school as usual ; TIRED ]:
Almost late ! ]: But security guard let me & baby in w. a few girls !

HISTORY , First period ;

Results back. 25/50 .
Not gooooood ! 1 essay - 9/12 another - 8/13
Source-based ; IM DEADDDD !

CHINESE , teacher never come ! ;

Teacher got come sch ! then she never come class !
She came t my class during P.E. ;
Baby & I was laughing like maddd !

P.E. , Didnt do anything.

Baby & I sat there , talking , playing games !
Went t buy burger t eat w. BABY !

RECESS , Dint go anywhere. Slack at canteen [:

ARTS ! ; The chinese tcher text my mom ;

She text my mum , she thought that my mum = Baby mom !
AHAHA ! [:

Today , something damn F. Lame happened.
I dontwant t dirty my blogggg . !
Is just somehow , DAMN CHILDISH . !
LOL !

You might be mine fr a second .
But hers forever .

I dontknow why R/S is so damn complicated !
IT SUCKS if you dont handle it well , just like me.
I dontknow how t handle endup - BREAK .
I always think that nothing could tear me down .
But , now i know. LOVE CAN .
Sometimes , Love can be a PLEASURE but also SUCKYYYY .
I love him but not that strong like the past .
I want him but not like the past , i'll die w/o him.
I need him but not like the past , i'll always want him by my side.

Friends are meant t be thr fr you ,
but not thr t mock at you .

This post is fr TJB .

TMD , I know you fr 4 years , & so you know Baby fr 4 years t.
TMD , Tday , I finally see what kinda ppl are you.
I've seen every part of you .

When you need friends, you always w. them.
When you need ROKOK, you take advantage of Baby.
When no one is thr t help you, Baby helped.
When your GirlFr. in trouble, I'm first t help.

MIND YOU TJB.

If i dont cherish you this friend , I wont even bother t care bout you.
I would just let you die there.
Now you've your friends, you "ditch" us. Come'on.
You seriously no hope alr lahh. Just carry on like this.
I want t see you 5 years down the road.

OMFG. Today , i finally see something in you.

People keep quiet , that doesn't mean you've no wrong.
People never say , cos they give you face.
Every single person , know you're what kinda ppl.
SO ! Dont bother t talk nonsense .

TODAY ! ;
This trouble is bout your GirlFr. ;
I help t talk things out ; What the F. you doing thr ?

REALLY DAMN REGRET T HAVE YOU THIS KINDA FRIEND.

In short , YOU SUCKS.

That's why Mommy always say ,
Friends are never thr ; IS NEVER.
Who is always thr ? FAMILYYY.
This is damn true.
Since I turn badddd , No friends are thr when I'm in Girls' home.

Is MY MOTHER who come & visit me ,
With her tears falling down her cheeks.
Taking leave from her work.
Buying all my fav. snacks.
But just only that short 30mins ;
-I know how impt was the time.

When I got into trouble, [ it wasn't friends that are thr ] ;
It wasnt those SO CALLD "GANS" ;
It wasnt those who call you their BROTHERS or SISTERS.

BUT !

Is the one who bear you inside her tummy fr 9months.
Carrying you on her back whenever you're downn.
There t bail you out when you're in lock-up.
There t visit you when you're in prison.
Dad bail me out with 10k.
Mom always thr t love & shelter me.

No one is more greater than MY PARENTS.

2010-05-16T02:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing had ever met forever.

I dont feel anymore thing.
I can't even feel the love that you're giving.
That incident really cost alot.

BORED BORED BORED !
Todayyyye.
Mommy woke me up fr tuition ; It was only like 8am ?
I continued t sleep. Mom came in 2nd time ! it is 0915am .
I chiong ! SHOWER then EAT > Tuition [:
Back from tuition , use com awhile.
Mom, Dad, Charlene & Eyanne is back from town.
Went down t swim ! {:
Went t shower > buy food.
Dad, Mom, Charlene, Clarance & Samuelson went fr Iron Man 2.
I stayd at home t t/c of Eyanne.
I playd w. her the whole dayyy ! [:
Mom is home w. my fish & chips from Jurong point.
NOT NICEEEEE !
Went t Aunt Wendy house fr awhile t see ahma & ahgong.
Home aft that ; Online.

MY COM SUCK !
My facebook SUCKKKS !
* All cant loadddd. Damn F. up reallyyye.

Just rmb this,
Everyone changes. Even yourself.

Im really tired. VERY TIRED.
I did everything at that time, wishing you can be like the past.
But you never did. & you even hurt me deeper.
I really miss every of you in the past.
The first outing , your first kiss & hug.
Baby , I know . I know ppl changes.
I alr have did everything i could.
I know i've changed but it was aft everything you've done.
Im tired of being hurt by you this time.
Zhen fang, pearlyn & even xbee.
Im seriously tireddd.
I now alr give you the freedom t contact girls.
SO , Just give me mine also.
This is our own private life. Im tired of you. & your attitude.

When is time t bid goodbye , just bid.
Cos even if you hold, it wont be the same alr.

2010-05-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

Bitch [:
*I dont love you.

Things changes , Things do fade.

FRIDAY , 14MAY'10 [:

Didnt do much today .
No school today , slept till 2plus in the afternoon.
Ahma went home , so i wokeup t t/c of Eyanne.
Play with her .
Mom came home ard 6plus ; Went down t xinwang fr dinner.
Homed, Online. Talk on MSN. F-B [:

TODAY , 15MAY'10 [:

Forget bout you, forget bout love.

Wakeup , TIREDDDD ! Ystd wakeup at 2plus, cant sleep.
Wokeup at 0745 , LATE fr CSO liao.
Went t shower , maid went t get breakfast fr me.
Eat , Chiong t traint AMK > Bus t Hougang.
Text Baby on the way .
Edmund was thr today , so talk & ask bout school [:
* Baby was awake.
Crap alot at thr .
Mom fetch me home.
Home> Zen's Grooming>Home>Vivo>Home
Eat Korean BBQ at vivo ! WAGYU BEEF [:
VERY FULL. homed. Online.

Babyloves. 020907; 0215am.

It used t be our love that never break us apart.
Now , A single mistake can break us like no-one business.
YES, I miss our past. Really.
But, I know things can never be the same.
I know you dont like me t contact him , but do i like you t contact her as well?
Did you even consider my feelings at that time?
You hurt me w. your F. Words & think that nothing you did was wrong.
You said you admit, yes, you did. BUT , when you admit ?
AFTER I FIND OUT ?

Used t be your one & only.

Baby, whatever you said t me. Which was ever true ?
I really dontknow. I dontknow how t love you.
I dont wish t be like the last time me.
I only play throughout everything after im not with you.
I now have Eyanne, I've t behave like a lady alr.
So please, stop hurting me, can?

I still cant forget what happened.
Is not that i dont want but is i cant.
Really. Sorry.

Pictures of the dayyyye [:

Zen taking the front sit with Mommy !

Zen standing [:

Can you spot a cat there ?

Thats EDMUND ! [:

The co-coal strove [:

Charlene, Clarance & dad ! [:

2010-05-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

Last Love. Bitch [:

Everything will come t a end.
Is only that we're waiting fr that ending.
When things are not meant t be yours, it'll never be.

Crash things out of your way.

TODAY.
Chinese LC exam. Nothing much.
End paper. Went t slack & talk.
Went home change & went out.
Damn tired.

ohmygod. see that Lawrence again.
He is mad [:
He always think he is MR CUTE !
He is waiting fr me t online ! [:

Pictures of the dayyyye !

Somehow, I need t vent it out.
&&, here it goes.

You're just a sucker. I dontlike you.
* I really wish I can dont like you.

Life is like this, either this or that.
Things wont turn out so nicely that everything fits into you.
Get used t life , when ppl lie, ppl cry, ppl attitude.

I myself know this jolly-well.
My attitude sucks. But somehow, I just cant change.
All because of you , I love you thats why I become like this.
I really wish that I dontknow how t love you.

Come on Baby, Lawrence is just my friend. A good friend.
If you dont like me t do things that you dislike, dont do it t me t.
If you're feeling terrible now, I doubt is as terrible as mine.

I'm seriously tired of you .

2010-05-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last BabyBoy .

OHMYGOD.
Im tired !
I thought today i wont be going out but I did [:
&&&, Im happy. BUT, Tired.

Went back t those memories.

Wokeup around 9am cos Eyanne cried.
Online com fr awhile, no one online then i off.
Went t takecare of Eyanne.
Ahma come my house around 9plus.
She took care of Eyanne, I went off t do my stuffs.
She showered her as I got flu, cant close contact w. Eyanne.

FADE-ED
You did first.

Dad came home around 1plus.
He came home t pick Charlene fr his appointment.
I told him I want t go , he said go change lo.
I prepared Eyanne stuffs, changed her, I changed.
Dad & Charlene went t get Sushi.
I went down t carpark t meet them [:
Went t fetch mom at her workplace.
Reachd SNEC around 2plus.

What last forever ?
NOTHING.

Charlene & Dad went in , Mom & me also.
But the Dentist say, Room small.
So me & mom went out.
Went t 7-eleven , get TODAY newspaper.
HEADLINE " Lovers quarrel with gongfu-durian style @ Geylang"
LOL ! I was like, laughing like crazy.
Went town, raffles city t walkwalk.
Dad wantd t go t FUNAN MALL , we walkd thr.
Didnt drive cos is damn near [:
I went t check fr Baby bout his RAZER mouse [:
Walkd back t Raffles City.

Dad went fr his company bank's dinner at SwissOtel @ RafflesCity.
Charlene, Me , Eyanne & Mom was walking around.
Charlene got a few piece of clothings so did Eyanne.
I wantd t get a shorts but 80bucks ; t ex liao !
Went t eat @ Burger king.
Dad leave early & came home with us.
Mom speed FAST [:

Daddy said that , the dinner he attended ,
THE CHEF WAS a top 100 CHEF in the world. Rankd 67.
HAHA. I was like so impressd with what the chef cookd.
HAHA !

Reach home, on com, got nag by mom.
FB-ing & MSN
Tmr , SCHOOL again.
Suspension is coming soon ]:
I wish that wouldn't happen but it'll still.
I just hope I'll become better.
NLevel soon. I gonna t get SERIOUS !

Lawrence have been talking t me fr the past few days.
He is a very good friend [:
HAHA. He keep telling me he is cute *KAWAII.
He is asking me at msn this .

GOT WRITE GOOD PT ABOUT ME ?
I said, GOT {:

he ask me t type this.

"screw lawrence for spoiling my mood ;
when i get computer and on my msn his the 1st retard that chat wif me"

"his been a bother since the 1st day when i met him"

You get your KARMA.

Dont treat me badly at that time, nothing will happen like what it is now.
Cos of your actions, you ruin everything, is everything.

You ruin me by telling me you faded.
You ruin me by contacting other girls, in fact you lied.
You ruin me by hurting with your words.
You ruin me by all you sweetness.
You ruin me with your memories.
Now, I wont let you do that anymore.

I wish I can be stronger & heartless t leave you.
But , I know. I still cant.
YES, My love is still there fr you but not that strong anymore.

Baby, I love you.

2010-05-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

You [:

Today, Chemistry.
Can make it d [:
No kick ! ; Went t juz bite t eat w. Baby.
Went t pick Charlene from school.
Go home. Went online.
Eyanne was sleeping. charlene also.
Eyanne didnt sleep well.
Talking t Lawrence at MSN.
He keep saying he is cute !
I'm tired ]:
Going bed soon. Tmr no school !

OverDued pictures !

He studying.

Dad's Bday.

TZP art Piece !

My Art Z

My art piece [:

Auntie Molly

2010-05-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

TAGGS REPIED !

Celine.: Jiejie, tagged! Meimei love you forever laaaa! No need worry luhrr ! xD lovedieyou ttm laaaa ! Huat uh !
-HAHA! My dearest Mei ! ILoveyou t. Haha. No worries [: LoveDieYou t.

10/05/10 04:54 PM

JAson: you single now?
-No. Attachd. but maybe somehow , Im not ready.

09/05/10 12:28 PM

Baby: Baby I Love You! I'll wait for you, i promise! I'll protect you from everything. i'll love as my one&only!
-Let's natural take flows [:

08/05/10 06:17 PM

Milley: GirlEn, how are you alr? please tc of yourself. dun bcos of him u fall sick.kk?
-Haha. Better, down w. flu again ]: Thanks girl ! I'll (:

07/05/10 02:38 PM

Baby Belgium: finally i found your blog sia! hahs. now single alr huh?lol. fcebook single, blog oso single/
-LOL ! Not single lah. Just dontwant t put attachd. due t some matters.

05/05/10 08:58 PM

Jason-ChingYou: Chingyou huh? lols. green oil? ppl put your name AS A PAST FRIEND also never say you third party. dont bhb leh. ya. agreed witj may.you dnno english?
-Laughs. She spoilt my blog sia. She just dontknow how t read. SADDED.

05/05/10 08:26 PM

May-ChingYou: Ommmmmmgg! please. you 3rd party leh. dont make yourself a self-joke, can? you 3rd party or you donno hw to read english?
-Sis. dont like that say him lah!

05/05/10 06:46 PM

JJ Di-ChingYou: since when you became 3rd party? want also find someone prettier lah. eye liner draw till jua tio ghost. OOOPS! did i say anything wrong?

05/05/10 06:46 PM

JJ Di-ChingYou: come on la. making a fool of yourself. Ur england sibeh powderful siax :X haha! lolx. this is her blog, then? you jealous of them?

05/05/10 06:45 PM

JJ Di-ChingYou: Chey. You third party leh. you upstairs, maybe got ppl want la. please leh. did she even make you sound like one? lolx! making yourself ulgy.

04/05/10 10:49 PM

JJ Di: EH. walaoeh. see now my dear jiejie sad): jiejie didi love ok? dunwan him. he knn bad. i good de.
-Thanks di. just heckcare her [:

04/05/10 10:47 PM

Maven: Dearest ahgua sister. dont like that kk? i heartpain sia. my girlfr see liao also say bu zhi de. let him be.
-Haha. I'm doing fine [: thanks !

04/05/10 10:41 PM

JL: Sweetie. i know u fr 6years. you how de person i cfm know. im always thr. he want like that. you have so many guys out thr!
-Yup. but i just hope he can be my right one.

04/05/10 10:34 PM

Cynthia;: Dearieee, cheer up okay, must be like me, I believe you'll be able t let go one day
-Thanks dearieee ! HAHA. Yup.

04/05/10 09:22 PM

Ruben: see , jiejie. the pb also say le! just give up la. (: did thr for you de leh !
- HAHAHA. see how it goes [;

03/05/10 10:41 PM

Passerby: Hell0s. cheerups, don't feel sad because of this. Don't think too much, he not faithful to you thn dun need care him. Takecares.
-Thanks so much.

2010-05-10T05:07:00.000-07:00

I Love The Past You.

I dont know what is becoming of you.
I'm tired, Real tired.

TODAY ;
Art paper. Still can do.
Yersterday, did my preparatory work till 12midnight ]:
Tired :x But endup dint complete it well.
I dontknow how my N level ARTS gonna t be man.

Went t short study.
homed aft that.
My fluuuuuuuuuuuu is killing me ]:

Tmr is chemistry ! BINGO ! (:

OVERDUE-D PICTURES !
Yes Baby. I Love You.

2010-05-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

I know what is my hate in you.

Since Wednesday , Last post.
I always tell myself t post maybe I'm just t tired.
Things have been happening.

Thurday .
PAPER 2 of Maths .
1 word. SUCKS !
I cant do well , I skip question, fever, tummyache.
How t concentrate ? ; I bet this time, paper 2 , FAIL.
When home t
Fever 38.9 still went t study.

Friday .
Yup, I did studied [:
History paper.
I did source-based on Europe.
Essay on Europe also.
Went home after that.
He just simple ruined my F.Friday.

SATURDAY !
CSO !
Went home , did some arts.
Keep using com ,
Went t Sister's Friend's Dad's shop t eat.

Baby.

SUNDAY.
Today !

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !

HAHA. I'll post a short msg for my mom later [:
Tuition , homed aft that.
Stayd at home , Miss ang & my new VPO came at 4plus.
New VPO name is Miss Kaur [: She is nice.
Went t IMM. Went t Gaint. Ate there. Food still can.
Went home, chiong my art.

Dearest Mommy ,
You've given bith t me on 080894 , 2356pm.
bearing 20hours of pain.
From that moment, you care for me as you only baby.
You love me with all your love, unconditionally.
When I went bad , I didnt think of your feelings but only my own feelings.
I committed crime, I runaway from home, went into girls' home, have Eyanne.
You never leave me alone t stand under the rain,
But you shelter me through the rain , you still clean all the rain drops.
she never giveup on me all the way.

YES. MY MOM IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD !
MOM, I LOVE YOU.

2010-05-05T03:40:00.000-07:00

Im sick ):
High fever. HOW ?

Things seem t be better that time then now.
We both seem t changed alot .
What ystd you told me , Baby , Please mean it . I'll wait .

I ask Baby t give me 3reasons why we shouldnt break.

He is changing for the better
Our Love
Our memories

I really hope this was true from you , Baby .
This dint touchd me like the past like how you did .
But , I think , Things will get better in no time (:

Today .

Im sick , Im sick , Im sick , Im sick , Im sick , Im sick .
Today is Maths Paper 1 ; Im tired somehow ):
Managed t struggle thru ; With a headache .
You imagine . With Headache then need t do MATHS .
OHMYGOD .
I turnd my head & everyone seems t be joking ard or sleeping .
Baby was sleeping t ): I also dontknow how .
Hai , Things are getting worst .

Baby , Please have some faith in yourself t get you t O Level .
You said you'll come w me t sec 4 , You did .
Now , I want you t go sec 5 , can ?

Went t eat Mac's but I vomitd ): SUCK.
Went home. Actually wantd t go out but my whole family sick .
Then , Never . Went t bed , loiter at bed .
Mom ask me t bath , I told her later .
Im sick ! Im sick ! Im sick !

Went t shower , Eyanne not well t . Her cough is getting worst ):
Bath , sleep from 11plus - 7plus . Ate medicine at 3plus . Sleep again .
Now , Online Fb , Msn , Post blog .
Sleeping soon again .

Hey , T that someone .
Dont wait for me or do all sorts of silly things .
I might be touchd but I still chose t stay w. my boyfr.
Sorry.

2010-05-04T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yes , Im tired of your every single thing .

Sorry Readers . I know my blog is almost dead .

I've t preparing for exams .
I'm facing alot of things at one go .

Im not a superwoman , Im not a girl not yet a woman .

Everything have limits . Even me .
I bear it once , that does not mean that I can bear it FOREVER .

Your lies , Im taking it but not with my heart .

Saturday ! {:

Meet Him , Wentao & Alicia t walk walk , talk & did study w. Him.
Went t SengKang , Eat , He went t his Grandma house .
Came back , Tired . Headache .
Everyone is unwell .
Eyanne , Mom , Dad , Charlene . who's next ?

Sunday ! {:

Went for tuition , Went t AhMa house .
T celebrate Dad & Charlotte bday .
AhMa cookd (: BEST . got ChengTeng somemore !

Monday ! {:

Went t study again .
W. him . Tired of it , attitude sicks .

Today .

I fade t the extend that i want t giveup.

I've been tolerating you for very long & yes . Im tired .
Dont make yourself sound like a prince or angel , can ?
Please , you sucks !

Let me VENT IT OUT .

I give in cos i still care .
I laugh for whatever crap you did cos i pretend t forget .
I dint say anything cos i dont want t embarrass you .
I did everything for you in silent cos i dont want you t say me act.
I hong t get your attention .
I love you cos of last time what you did .
I dont let go cos of memories .
I hate your actions but i kept quiet .

Everyone do have limit .
/ Dont ever sound so nice that you want t make me stay .
If you've did that , you wouldnt hit & scold .
You'll love & care , Even be there .
I wont allow myself t get hit by you ever again .
Everyone is calling me stupid cause of you .
Im a idiot t wait on you .

When you hong xBee , I kept quiet .
I ask who was that , you said it was a guy .
& you even entrust me but what the F she is ?

I cried , I want you . Chingyou they left me
Whr the F were you ? Talking t her till 3plus am when you told me you're tired .

You calld her "My Girl" . You said you deserved someone like her .
You can bcos of her , scold me , hit me .
You can bcos of her , let go of me aft 2years .
You can do everything & you just tell me she was just a friend .

Who is the God bloody damn would believe you ?
Come on , you said i never admit my mistakes ?
Why not you just mention bout yourself ?
Please , you said i act angel ? OR IS YOU ?

You dont treasure me & you said i dont treasure you right ?
If i never , my girl is sick , would i even f*king care bout your studies ?
& what i got back , your attitude .
You said bout my attitude , why not yours ?
You said i gave you the worst ?

Why not you ask my mother lah .
Come on , you are just another fool trying t make ppl laughs .
I have enough means I have .
Yes , whatever My Mother said it is just t true . IS DAMN TRUE.
I dont need you t live on .
I need Eyanne , I need my Family . Not you .

You dont want t study , i wont force .
You dont want t learn , i wont force .
You dont want t givein , i wont force .

You want t hong , GO AHEAD .
You want t play with me , can . Provide you can play.
Every single thing of you SUCKS .

You simply sucks , too bad (:

If you like t say me ;
Talk bout yourself .
Since when you're thr for me ?
When im sick ? Only that one time you ac me t doc's .
When I cried ?
When I need someone ?
When I apologise t you ?
When I got into deep shit ?

Our ring ?
Our Ani ?
Our memories ?
Our Love ?

What have you done as MY BOYFRIEND?
NOTHING you have done for me.
I really tired . REALLY .

I bet this is the time I really hopes & wants t giveup .

2010-04-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Love + Hatred = Giveup .

People do get tired of things & wanting t give up on it .
Everyone have limits .

Today ;
Went t school .
English paper still can (:
Went t eat MAC .
Social Studies , Should be can .

Went home t change .
Had some dispute with Baby .
Baby , Elmer & Salman , went t eat aft that come find me .
Talk , read things .
Went back home .

2010-04-29T06:49:00.000-07:00

Try bitching me off , &
You shall know what a bitch turns into (:

BLOOOODY FOOOOOL .

Everyday in my life , it is just so eventful .
Every single tears , laughter are created by your loved ones .

I just find myself very stupid .
Very tired ; almost the whole night i dint sleep .
I just waitd for someone text worrying that something might have happend .
I listend songs & fell asleep ard 4plus .
& he wokeup & told me he fell asleep .
I just find myself idiot & a fool .

Today was another day that make me pissed off .
Arts was the first lesson , TIRED .
Did nothing again ;
I dontknow how am I going t pass my N level ARTS .

Im wishing I was dead soon .
Every single thing Im doing , I just cant do it well .
I promise them I would do well in everything ,
I'll , My stand is clear , I'll work hard .
I cant do anything if he dont want t study.

Physics , I went down canteen t get my chicken burger !
Saw my Yaqi MeiMei (: talkd t her for some matters .
Went back t class ! (: STUDYYYY !
Sat with JianHao , ZhongPeng & we were very noisy lah .

Recess , Went down t eat .
Ate with Salman, ZhongPeng, Eddy, JianHao (:
Went back t class for maths .

Maths ! Did some worksheet . Revision .

English , Did a paragraph of opening speech.

Went t Mini Mart , wantd t meet him t study .
But he said he cant , is okay .
Went t slack with JianHao, ZP, Neash, Suthev, Afiq, Liyang came later.
Add my noodles & went home ! l Tuition .

Tuition (:
Did some revision .
Yah , Im prepared for physics ? (:

You might lose me anytime .

Every relationship might just come & go .
Learn how t let go .

If the guy cant be with you when you need him &
While he was talking t another girl till 3Am ,
Just ditch him . He is useless for not being thr for you .

If the guy can call another girl, MY GIRL ;
You can forget bout loving him.
Cause you meant nothing t him .

If the guy can lied t you, telling you he's texting a guy,
When he wasn't , dont trust him anymore.

If the guy can dont care bout you & texting happily w. another girl,
Ask him go & die.
Dont need t bother bout this guys .

I keep all our memories but you chunk them like fcuk.

You're just useless t me ,
What thing I've not done for you sia ?
I bet is cause of her , we changd so much.
All startd with you when you get her number.
I can tell you now ,

YES , IM FINE W/O YOU .
I DONT NEED YOU.
MAYBE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IS FAR BETTER.

Every single thing of you SUCKS.

When I need you, you're not thr.

When I need your care , you heckcare.
When I get you t text , attitude fcuk.

You dont want me t nag at you ,
To study ,
Asking who you're texting ,
Going out late ,
Doing all sorts of things behind me,
I can dont care, why not ?

Lastly ,
You 8letters , 3words & 1meaning means nothing t me.
NOTHING cause you never meant it .

2010-04-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Dont lie t me anymore , can ?

✭ ; TODAY ! Everything just SUCKS .

Exams , Chinese . !
I might just fail my chinese , I dontknow how t go t O levels !
Paper 1 ; letter i did wrong format .
Paper 2 , dontknow what t write .
After School , I just got damn F. Flared up .
I wantd t meet him t study , end up ?
QUARREL . Went t Mac w. Thineash , Salman & ZhongPeng
Went t SkatePark t find him .
Rain heavily , Wantd t study .
Only read abit , homed .
Now ! Im homed .
I leave batok at 0525 , last text from him was 0543 .
Im seriously worried bout him .

Things are getting worst & worst between us .
I dont know what you thinking now .
I've alot t say , I'll tell you soon . Im tired of it . Sorry.

2010-04-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

Lying keeps you alive ,
I'll let you t lie t me forever

Today ;

Everyday seems nothing smooth t me is going on .

Maths , Tired .
Chemistry , Ok . Went back t what I've revise in tuition .
Mother Tongue , Somehow is a waste of my time .
Recess , Baby piggy back me & my burger fly !
English , Did some Social studies revision & newspaper reading .
Physic , did some paper .

Some other days will post what have happend this few days .
But wont be in detail .

After School !
Went t do cleaning , CORRECTIVE WORK .
Due t alot of times of late-coming & never report the next day .
Mr Fairus VERY VERY nice .
He askd all t do 3 classrooms but Baby & I only did 2 .
He allow us t go (:

When t study w. Baby , CHEMISTRY
Baby have t passd this mid-year man .
Never pass , at least must improvement (:
Ate with Baby at nearby coffeeshop .
Pei Baby wait bus then I headed home {:
* Pictures of Baby cleaning classroom ! { Bottom }

Baby resting (:

After all the cleaning !

Baby sweeping or playing ?

What is he doing ? Playing ?

2010-04-23T07:36:00.001-07:00

Everything that have made me .

Days are pasting damn fast .
I wished time will stop soon .

Long time no post again .
Next wk EXAMS ; Will be even Busier .
Nowadays , I play Facebook .

☆ ; Monday , Forgot what I have done again .
✭ ; Tuesday , Went t PTO [Pictures are uploaded]
☆ ; Wednesday , Forgot what I have done again ; Eyanne got her 3rd jab !
✭ ; Thurday , Didnt touch com. Wasnt in the mood for everything .

☆ ; Friday

Damn tired la !
school > oral > D&T > Home
Hai , today really damn Fcukup d .
Somehow , I just feel that everything I have done , he nvr cherishd .
I only can say , I hope you'll cherish .
I'll post more in my private blog ! {:

PICTUREEEEEEES !
Enjoy {:

Me , Nabil & Anson !

ASS brothers {:

ME & HIM

Group picture but not complete ]:

4 trouble makers !

2010-04-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

When Im gone , Cry for me .
I still want you , Dear .

AGAIN . 3 days no blog . Somehow , VERY LAZY .
✭ THURSDAY & FRIDAY ; dontknow what I done .

YES , YWL & Eyanne are my everything .

★ SATURDAY !

` Dint went for CSO , Went t UNIVERSAL STUDIOS (:
`Quite Fun ! / WAIT VERY LONG . BUT FUNNNN !
`Spent bout a thousand on Saturday .
`Mom & Dad said that We should have more of this family outing more .
`But this kinda outing t Ex le .

`Hoping t go w. Universal Studios w. Baby ♥ !

*WILL POST PICTURES WHEN DAD SEND ME .
confirm damn long d lahs . !

✭ We keep quarreling , when will we toned down ?
Baby , you should know . No matter how attitude am I ;
I need you by my side .
Cos , w. you , I'll feel that I NEVER lost anything .
I already tried t toned down w. you cos I NEED YOU .

Im not your desire ?
I need you , YWL .

✭ SUNDAY ;

Today went fr tuition !
Brought Zen for a walk after that , saw NUT , talk t her .
Went home t shower Zen .
I went t use computer .
Saw his status , I got a shock of my life .
Went t Charlene's Friend , KaiShan d Daddy store t eat . !
VERY NICE LAH .
Somehow , I dont feel well . Keep want t vomit .
&&& , I damn fcukup stress .
I really hope you can make things clear cut .
I dont want you t do anything t hurt me ever again .
YES , Im afraid t lose you .

But , even if you chose t leave ~

I'll hold but if you're happier w.o me , go ahead then .
I seriously , I WANT YOU by my side .

2010-04-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

Everything might start with a smile ,
End with everything you have .

WOAHHHHH !
Today too many things is going on already . SADDED .

Things are still going fine for me w/o them (:
I know , I still have Baby & others .
Dont need t be w. them d lehs ;
Let's see in a few years down the road .

Today , wasn't much fun but something thrilling happen ! (:

Chemistry learnt bout Alkane chemical reaction .

History have test .

Maths did Probability worksheet .

Recess stayed in class .

Social Studies almost fall asleep .

English ; Last period want t sleep .

End School , Wantd t go buy things t drink .

Then ! Got people say want talk . Laughs .

* Once I think of it , Want t laughs again .

She call 2 of her siblings & they both bring the stead down .

Laughs . Thought want talk ?

Go there , talk c*ck ONLY . Waste my DAMN time !

Laughs , at there say what I ask them face-face talk .

Is who say sia ? Never say properly .

She think by calling her sister & brother down helps .

Sorry , it doesnt help on me , SADDED .

Im not afraid as long as Im in the right .

Went t coffee shop talk , then dumbdumb say she want eat .

She eat finish , they come .

WOAH , they're fierce ! SO many people come .

They started saying by what ;

Showing the h/p what , not happy come find me in sch .

That was what I said & yet that means face-face talk ?

JOKE (: Making a fool of themselves .

LOL . Some People dont care about their image but I do (:

Some people thinks that they are great w. some backing .

OHMYGOD .

& End up ? How the prob end ?

Everyone is interested w. the ending , right ?

YES , I scolded them for being childish , Wasting my time & !

I walked away , (: What can they do ? Beat me up ?

Come on la , s'pore goes by law .

& For that person who say ;

I only pobation , even spelling also wrong .

IS PROBATION (: STILL PUT AT FB .

Laughs .

I like & enjoys my probation (:

At least something can hold me down still (:

2010-04-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

Unpolished love tore me apart .

MY ATTITUDE SUCKS .
Time , make me somehow , very upset .
I wished time can stop at happy moment .

Today , was a terrible day for me , as so for yesterday .
Kept quarreling ]:

I so sick & tired of it .
Baby , I know you held on t me . So did I .
I wish we can always peace off .
Nothing else .

I can tell you this Baby .
It takes 2 hands t clap .
You dint get me wrong neither you taught me .
I can changed by myself .
I know my attitude t you wasnt any good .
I KNOW . Actually is EVERYONE .
I'll change w/o anyone help , I promise you .

Baby , no matter what , I love you .

Will post again tmr .
Is late now ! Going t sleep (:
Tc readers .

2010-04-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Baby , fall onto me & I'll grab you .

LONG time no post . I rarely so long never post d .
But recently t many things ]: SADDED . !

Went fr parenting workshop , went t vivo t eat .
Ate Yakitori [:
Nothiing else t say .

Let pictures talk [:

Daddy with him DSLR [:

Fried squid .

Unagi .

MINE MAIN COURSE !
pan-fried chicken with egg !

Grilled Mushroom .

Tempura .

SQUID W. Kimchi !

Italian soda .
MY SODA .

2010-04-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

When you told me lies & Made me giveup .
I know how I feels now , anyone else knows ?

Suddenly , I like no time for blogging .
I have t keep my blog alive t update my readers .
LOL ; It wasnt any fun neither I found happiness for past few days .
I find it t tired for me already .
Sometimes when you made me t tired , I'll just let go .

TODAY ;

Wasnt any fun in school , Rather very tired .
Managed t get through .
Maths . I got 9/10 for standard deviation .
not as good as the past , will push harder [:
Recess , didnt went t recess .
Accompany Baby t study physics .

Chemistry was quite dry for me ;
As I have done topic during tuition . !
Physics was okay .
Did TenYearSeries ! [:
Studies are abit dry for me .
Went home , study again .
Tmr got chemistry test on AIR & Physics on TYS .

When I was told t let you go again .

A boy is a magical creature,
You can lock him out of your workshop,
But you can't lock him out of your heart.
You can get him out of your study,
But you can't get him out of your mind.

I knew you since sec 1 , You have changd alot .
We got together but , now what is our together ?
Is not just your attitude towards me . But your everything .
You can made me into a good person & also a bad person .
You taught me what was right & wrong .
You're clear in every sense in the past .
But now ? ; Baby , You've changed alot .

Whatever you have said , wasnt what you meant .

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have,
we lose people.
But you never forget them.
And sometimes, it's those memories
that give us the strength to go on.

Today .

Today you've said such a hurtful thing t me .
When you protect me from others saying & you did that t me t .
You dint think . Did I ever did this t you ? ;
Seriously , today is the only day that have made me giveup on you .
I thought you'll never say that but you did it today .

You dont want t study ? , I wont force on you .
You dont want me t care ? , I wont care .
You dont want t go school ? , Fine .
I wont force anything that you dont like anymore .

When i want t leave you alone .

Somehow , I wasnt heartache when I said break t you .
I shall not say what you did t me .
Seriously , You should changd .
If another girl ,
can bear -
your attitude , your violence & dont retaliate ;
Ask her come t me , I'll give you t her .
I have been trying my best already .

You always ask me , what you do t deserve me attitude ? ;
Then shall I ask you , what I did t deserve your everything ? ;
Have you spare a thought for me ? ;

Everyone is just looking at the surface ,
Have they gone in deeper t see what was happening ?
They never , all think that you're right ,
& Im wrong cos I showed you my attitude .

If one day , we really break .
You should thank god .
From letting you go from a crazy woman .
Yes , I dint held you tight , neither I look as if I care .
But have you think why I always break ?
You're not tired but I am .
You can withstand all this , I cant .

You expect me t bear with you ? I cant .

SORRY .
If you think is my fault ,just come t me & spout it out .

I just now text you ,
Telling you a deal .
I can dont go out with ANY FRIENDS . provided you go school .
I know you dont like me going out with others , I know .
I am trying now , Im proving t you .

SERIOUSLY .
I LOVE YOU , BABY .
NO MATTERS WHAT , IM STILL THERE .

2010-04-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

Love at first sight is easy to understand;
It's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime ;
That it becomes a miracle.

Today , as usual .
Tuition first , went t Vivo City t eat .
Went t Marche again , Dint took pictures but video [:
Next time then post. Very funny .
Went home , Rest then online .
Nothing much today .

Some Random & Overdued pictures .

JunBin & His GirlF.

JunBin & Me [:

Ohmy , Shani is pregnant ]:

Random . !

2010-04-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Everything was a Bad Romance .
✭ with love .

I got so flared up till nothing could make me say any else .
I wantd t understand you but I know I cant .

If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back to you, its yours forever.
If it dosent, then it was never meant to be.

Today wasn't any better .
I was really having a damn headache during CSO .

; ✮
Wokeup at 0700am but still loiter on my bed .
Hoping that I can sleep longer by every 5 mins pass .
But , I still wokeup at 0713am .

; ✭
Get Prepared , spent 15 minutes on changing clothes .
Finally I chose > Shorts w/ Heineken !

; ✭
Traind t AMK > Bus t Hougang
Damn tired , & ! Sleepy ]: Pout !
Did some cleaning , mopping of floor .
Read some newspaper & play some computer games .
Baby wokeup at 1221pm . He textd me .

; ✭
> Reporting t Miss Ang !

did a damn foolish move ]: ! Pout !
I walk a long distance ,
As aunt molly told me t walk the direction > a direct bus from Hougang
I dint managd t & I wastd my time !
Bus t SengKang > Train t Dhoby Gaunt > changd train t TPY .
Reach TPY , Walkd t Bus inter , White or green plate ?
I dontknow , Call mom for help .
She text me , &&& ! It startd t rain .
No choice but t cab t MCYS . Wait a long time for cab .
Finally ! I reachd MCYS & I waitd 1 hour for Miss Ang .
Met her at 0330pm , till 0430pm .

I love him and He loves me,
& we hate each other with a wild hatred born of love.

; ✭
Busd t Clementi & Traind home .
Went t CauseWay Point t shop for things .

; ✭
Currently at home , where else can I be ?
Laughs . Thinking of holding a BBQ or chalet .
So Random . Laughs . !
Tmrw is tuition ! [:
Monday , back t school !

✭ When time comes ,
Nothing could ever stop .

2010-04-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Know what is pain like ? ; & I bet you dont .
Im feeling it now , My heart aches .

Nowadays , dint blog much ; Time dont allow me t do .
I hate myself , & My life . Nobody cos this hate but I , Myself .
Let me grumble later . I'll start with the happening of my day .

Today , wokeup ard 9plus ? ;
Showered and went t get breakfast w Mom , Charlene & Eyanne.
Went home , rentd Alvin & chipmunks 2 disc , watchd [:
Left for hospital t visit Aunty Junie as she had just given birth .
After that , Headed t VIVO , had my lunch at Republic .
Went t Shop around .
Wantd t meet baby t get my EzLink card .
Dad dropped me at ThiongBahru ; traind t Batok .
Waitd for Baby then went t slack for awhile .
Dint really chat much , Baby went t get his food .
He sent me t train and he went back home .
Baby is still sick , He is damn sick w. his FLU ]:
My eyes very pain now ; Due t contact lenses ! ];
I wont wear them till im better .
Homed , showered .
Textd Baby awhile & he is sleepy , he went t sleep [:
Blogging and Facebooking ; Sleeping soon .
Tmr got CSO & reporting t Miss Ang at MCYS .

VENT IT OUT ]:

Seriously , for this past few days , DAMN STRESS UP .
Im sorry if I have commentd things that I shouldn't .
BUT , I'll say whatever I want .

;
Friends , Sisters and whatever it is I shall call .
If you think I have changd , I agreed .
If you think my attitude like the past , I agreed .
But always rmb one thing - ;
A person changd for a reason . Even if is wrong .
I have done alot of things that have made me regret in my life .
& Even making every single rights of decision .
I know , My attitude t him , wasnt any good , But he ?
I wont want t use him t quarrel .
I dont have the time t spend w you guys .
Maybe is cos I cant prioritize . SOrry .
Being me , is never easy .
I might have changd due t my damn attitude ,
But no matter whats , friends are always there , right ?
I have lost Kellie , must I lost you guys also ? ;
If you have read, can you tag my my tagboard ? ;

Look into my eyes Baby .
When was the last time , I told you I Love You ? ;

To My Dearly Baby .

Baby , time have passed fast and ;
Another 14 more days is our 6th month .
I know my attitude & character well .
I NEVER WANT T LOSE .
Mommy also said , I know is my fault but I nvr admits .
You know , I know .
I always say break , you hold on . I know .
You said whatever when I said break , but you nvr meant it .
I might be hard t care for but I still want you t care .
I just wishd we can be like normal couple ;
Study , Go out tgt , Do things tgt & not just quarrel .
Baby . I know you can always give in t me .
& yet ? I took it for grantd .
When you burst out , I still can at thr irritate you .
I'll try t change but I wont promise anything .
I know if I promise , I cant do it , you'll be very disappointd .

Baby , I Love You .
I Love You as much as the past .

Je ' Ta Me .

2010-03-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

BeBi- Watashi aikou maro

Today wasn't a pleasant and happy day for me ;
Rather a irritating , sickening , angry day for me .

I woke up in the morning , prepared and went t school .
In the train , I text him .
Asking him if he need me t wait for him at bus-stop .
He dint reply , even till 7plus am .
I got so worried , text him again asking why he dint reply .
He dint response . I got so distracted in class .
I couldn't concentrate ; I did tried my best t concentrate .
I went t called him , sent him alot of texts .
He dint reply , I almost wantd t go out of sch but ! I dint .
Everyone was helping me t find him .
I was so worried till I cried out in class ;
I only kept asking .
Where is he ? Will he be fine ? I scare something happened .
Salman they all come talk t me , counsel me .
I still very worried . After school went out t eat ice-cream .
Back for subject contact time ;

HE FINALLY MESSAGE ME AT 02:22PM .

I got relieved but angry .
I was like so concernd that something might happened t him ;
He told me , He was sick .
For this , Why cant he tell me before that ?
Went home , showered then headed out t get my school shoes .
Texting him along the way ;
He said that the vibrations were irritating .
I wantd t scold him , he said is irritating ?
Or he damn made me worried ? ;
All those calls are only my concerns for him .
He said I dint care enough , Im doing it & this is what ?!
Came back , I really think alot , is ALOT !
Finally , I know how it feels without him for 20hours .
Replying my last message ard 6plus yesterday .
I got so tired of it .

I thought when love for you died, I should die.
It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on.

Baby , Love is like a puzzle .
When we're going fine ,
Indeed everything was fit perfectly .
But when we quarrel ,
Nothing suits us , puzzle went messy & ;
It might take time .
We even fought physically . Nothing can change the facts .

Maybe part of loving is learning to let go.
As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you.

Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars.

2010-03-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today ;
As usual , Went for my tuition in morning .
Ate cup noodles .
Parents fetched Charlene t town for her modeling class .
Homed at 1130am .
Prepared as parents coming t pick me & Clarance up .
Went t go t nearby shop t buy things t eat .
Went t AhMa house t visit them .
Went t Baby HyperMart at 5plus , nothing there ]:
Tired , went t United square t shop & ate at a Japanese Restaurant .
Headed home at 0800pm .
I got my new phone ! Samsung pixon [:

2010-03-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Je t' adore

Today ;
Another bored day for me ]:

My alarm rang me up at 0655am , I wantd t sleep more .
BUT ! Not even 5 mins , Mom came banging my door ]:
Not enough sleep ! ]: HOW !
Went t shower , no choice .
Mom got maid t get my breakfast fr me .
Prepared , last min finding my black socks . !
Went out of house ard 0750am ;
Traind t AMK , Bus t Hougang .
I thought I would be usual ; In bus I'll be happier .
But sadly , I dint :/
Tired , TODAY WAS EXCEPTION .__.
So tired, can ?! IS DAMN .
So went off t CSO ,
Auntie Amy was surprise t see me , Molly & Ong wasnt thr .
They went for course , left me alone ! ]:
Went t did some cleaning , slackd all the way .
Finally 1215pm & yet a buffet delivery man came ;

Him : Buffet here , where you want t place the buffet ?
Me : Huh ? I thought is tmrw ?
Him : *passing me the invoice . See .
Me : Did you deliver wrong place ?
Him : No , Today what .
Me : No lah , is tmrw .
Auntie Amy , who dontknow English at thr talk .
A.Amy : No lah, you whr ? not tuday la. is tamalo.
Me : *Laughing !
Him : I call my boss , maybe wrong ?

A.Amy called VINCENT ,
A.Amy : Vincent ah ! * in canto , they deliver the buffet today .
Vincent : * in canto , They put the things in , throw out.

* Endup , Hougang CC took everything FOR FREE .

Mom came t fetch me & yet I give attitude .
Want t get High Chair for Eyanne ,
In the end cos of my attitude, dint get the chair .
Headed home , Stayed at home .
Ard 5plus ? ; Went t Lot 1 t walkwalk .
Saw my friends , Dint say anything .
Reached home at 0715pm [:
Online , watch TV , ate Dinner .
Sleeping soon , tmr tuition ]:
He said he was going t IRC , Dontknow what t say also .
Since he's bored , let him be lah .

I know one day you'll still leave me alone .

2010-03-26T06:38:00.001-07:00

A million words would not bring u back .
i know cause I've tried .
and a million tears wouldn't either .
i know because I've cried .

When the time want you t giveup ,
Never go against them .

TODAY ;
Went t school as usual .
His sister fetched him t school .
Went for mother tongue reading , maths .
Chinese sucks , I want t drop t basic Chinese !
; Too late le . SHAG .
English was next , did some work .
Recess , stayed at class .

After school , went t slack awhile ;
Meet my friends , slacked , passed them things .
Went home , changed & went t prepared t go airport .
Daddy came back from Japan today .

Fetched dad , went t Crystal Jade ShangHai t eat .
Went home ard 8 plus .
Homed , use computer .
Sleeping early today , tmr have CSO again .

There comes a point in every girls life where they met love ;

I realizes that I just needs to let it go ,
I mean nothing ever gonna change the fact that at one point ;
I really did love you with everything in me .
It's just the fact that I simply cannot do this to myself ;
And I cannot make this work .
Face it baby we're in a lose-lose situation.
And as far as you're concerned
I'm just on one of my "im leaving for good this time" kicks again,
but the only difference is this time it's real.
I'm done, and don't bother because you're never gonna change,
Honestly you CAN'T change & we BOTH know that...
So when you finally realized that ;
I loved you way more than I ever could have loved anyone else,
you'll see something more in me,
Something that you're forced to live without.

2010-03-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

Back t blogging (:

Ohmy , How long I haven been blogging ? More than a week alr .
Okay , I dont have much t say but ALOT of things have been happening .
Family , BoyF. & Even school .

Im quite stressed with him for this few days ;
We have been quarreling & yes , We have drift .
It was always my fault , isnt ?
In every couple , both also only know how t point faults .
Have they think of their own fault ? ; They'll never .

I realised you have changed alot , what can I say ?
I have already told you time & time again .
I might have walked beyond your boundaries but you did that t .
I so tired that I have mentioned break for how many times ?
What can you do if you dont study ? ;
Study might be bored , But is your future .

 Je t'aime

Is not supposed t hurt this way , I need you , I need you .
When time flews , you'll never think of those sad memories ;
But when you reached t a stage where you quarrel ;
you just blurt out everything .

I miss someone asking me where I am.
Someone who cares for me a lot.
I miss someone missing me.
Someone wanting my hugs and kisses.
I miss someon
e wanting me beside him.
Someone hugging me at night.
I miss someone who calls me "baby".
Someone who forbids me from drinking, smoking and going out.
I miss someone minding me how special I am.
Someone who makes me feel complete.
I miss being important

You said that you care , but you dint care in the way I wantd .

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh,
But you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

TODAY ;
Went t school as usual , baby went t eat first as he is hungry .
Today chemistry , Baby showed attitude t Mdm Yaw ;
Ystd she have been a bit too crude of her remarks t baby .
Actually she did offended me t but I kept quiet .
Baby doesnt like t be look down upon ,
Remarks are still remarks ; If remarks are t crude , keep it t yourself .
When a person dint voice out , please dont push t the extend .

& for those ppl I indicating ,

Apology , If im too straightforward .

WanLi & I are couple , yes we're .
& , I know my status well enough .
I might not be that mature ;
But I can say I know what are your concerns .
If you are thinking of brking us up , Is CLOSE T IMPOSSIBLE .
I know you guys have the rights t mend my report .
Even if you know stuff about us , dont need spread .
If you are thinking t let everyone know , I cant say anything ;
But just think la , if the one is your child , how you feel ?
Even if your child dont , but think bout yourself .
Words are not meant t be spout out like this .
Control what you say .
This is MY BLOG , I cant post whatever I want .

When I give you respond is cos I still respect .
Everyone have limits , dont you ?
Sometimes even you guys are in the wrong ,
You still take it as ;
YOU ARE THE T****** , THEN ?
I know you're .
Even is not the child fault , you'll apologise ?
I doubt so , just a thing t summarizes .
Mind whatever words come out from your mouth .

Went t book mark making & so on & so forth .
Reached home ard 4plus .
Went t tuition at 0715-0855 .

Dint stay till 0915 bcos of probation .

Tmr is FRIDAY already .
Im so tired .

If those who are reading my blog now ;
Read on what am I going t say .

I dont care what you guys going t say .

I have been quarreling with Baby for the past few weeks .
Indeed is never easy holding on a relationship like ours ,
I have been making a BIG FUSS whenever he did something wrong .
I gave attitude , I ignore , I heckcare , I said break .
If you think our relationship is only puppy love ,
I can say is more than that .
I might find every single thing t quarrel but I still want him .
It is just that when I felt so tired , SO TIRED that I want t give up .
He kept holding on .
I dontknow when we can be like the past , It seems so hard .

I ever had a friend , YongKang . He is married t Jessie .
They also like us ,
EVERY SINGLE DAY QUARREL . BREAK - Patch .
They got married not due t child but he proposed .
YongKang temper wasnt any good , he started t hit Jessie .
But YongKang really loved Jessie but he overdone .
Heprotected Jessie from everything in a wrong way .
In the end , they were separated .

If I can last this R/S , I was just afraid of this , Im serious .

Let me write somethings for you , Baby .

Baby , you always tell me that I never say things t you .
Is not that I never say but I only can express through words.

Slowly I'm missing you .
But still I'm trying to keep things where they should be .
So when you feel that i don't care for you,
Just try to remember that all my care for you ;
Grows in a place where no one can see

Baby ,
You know what I always wanted from you ? ;

LOVE is not just about the words but the meaning for me t you .
It's not just "you can trust me" but "I'll never make you doubt"
Not just "don't go there" but "let me go with you"
Not just "I'm sorry" but "I'll never hurt you again"
Not just "I'm here" but "I'll never leave you"
Not just "don't worry" but "I'll never give you reason too"
Not just "I love you" but "Life has no meaning without you!"

Baby , can you hear me out now ? ;

I'm not a perfect lover .
I say what's on my mind, i start fights.
I get jealous easily, i get mad always, I'm demanding.
I'm a crybaby, I'm moody.
Nut there's 3 things that i love about me..
Im yours , I truly love you, and when i chose him, it's "only him"

2010-03-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

Dont let me go soon .

Today wokeup at around 0810am ?
Shower , ate some hams then Bathe for Eyanne .
Went t train t AMK , bus-ed t CSO , Hougang .
Today , got 2 other probationers w. me , Asraf & Edmund .
LOL . 2 crazy guys . Fool around while doing some work .
Mom came t fetch me home .
Baby wokeup & he text me .
Reached home ard 6pm ? ; Went t NTUC w. Charlene t get drinks .
Online awhile then going t sleep .

Now , that Bitch or Bastard cant tag me alr (:
See how proud is he/she . Laughs ! (:
Great for him/her . Want say me , come t my face la .
Lame F**K (:

2010-03-16T06:22:00.001-07:00

HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY BABY ! ♥
I will not love you for the rest of your life, but for the rest of my life

Whenever you're in a conflict w. someone .
There can make a damaging a relationship & deepen it
That is ATTITUDE

Today is the 5th month w. My dearly le (:
Will last long one ; No matter what , We'll .
Though my attitude , CANT MAKE IT . He still tolerate .

If a person truly love you , he/she'll never mind whatever you did .
This 5 months have been tough for me & also him .

Actually , as you seen in my past few posts ;
I quarrel w. Him for days , about 1 wk already .
Yesterday , Baby & I decided t talk things out face-face .
I ask him when if we should talk as today is our 5th anniversary .
So we decided t talk today ; We did .
Everything was fine & good .

I have t change myself & my attitude ;
I can sense that Im changing but I wont let it be .

Lastly , Baby ! I Love you (:

A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one

Find a guy ;

Who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,

Who holds your hand in front of his friends,

Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares

& how lucky he is to have you....

The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.

Love come unseen but we see it go .

Yes dear , you said you'll walk w. me t the end of our road

WHAT IS LOVE ?

Love is when one person knows all of your secrets.

Your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows...

& yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you;

Even if the rest of the world does.

YengWanLi , I ♥ You ™

He NEVER even mention a word of break w. me ever since we started .
He cares , He loves , He never give up no matter what I did .
He never once forsake me .

♡ Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

When I gave him attitude , He bears .
When I shouted at him , He kept quiet .
When I Broke w him , He always hold on .
When the fault was mine , He apologized .
When we aren't together , He still stood there for me .
No matter how BIG my mistake was , He always forgive .

For Me ;
When the matter was small , I made it BIG .
When he said that he was sorry , I shouted at him .
I never admit my mistakes .

For Him ;
He shouted at me LOUD when he cant take it .
He used violence t punch t vent it out .
He gave me attitude even if I apologized .

We started on 020907 ; 0215 am ♡
We started as brother & sister .
He dint have the courage t ask for stead till I broke w my EX .
He told me if I want t be his GirlF.
He was very nice t me (:
Tcher day BBQ , no one accompany me t buy things , he did .

We paused on 290608 ; 0537 pm .✖
I quarreled w. him like no one business .
He need a break from me already .
I have always been pushing him t the corner .
Im sorry . I regretted for what I have done .

We continued on 161009 ; 0845 pm ♡
I wanted him back .
I contacted him , feelings were back .
We went back together .
It wasn't stable at first , till later - We did .

Today ;

Wokeup around 9plus ? VERY TIRED !
Preparing t go out ard 10 plus ?
12plus left house , went t Lot 1 passed my friend things .
Went t Batok t meet Baby ♥ .
Actually wantd t got Changi t meet Baby ♥ but he came back ystd midnight .
Went t meet Baby ♥ then go slack awhile ,
Went t Jurong Point t walkwalk .
Crazying around w. Baby ♥ .
Talk about FAT CAT , one of my friend .
Then Baby ♥ told me about a joke told by Elmer .
Laughs , He too fat then sit car later ponk-ponk ! *cos no space.
I ate western , Baby ♥ ate Tom Yum .
We ate quite long .
Headed t the cinema t see what show are there .
Sadly , Alice in the wonderland DAMN PACKED.
So dint managed t see any ): SADDENED .
Baby ♥ was bored , I suggest t go home .
Took a Bus ride w. Baby ♥ t Batok . Bus 174 .
Went t WestMall t walkwalk , Headed home after that .
Baby ♥ sent me t the train , Baby ♥ went t find Elmer .
Now Baby ♥ not back home yet ): I very tired sia !
Tmr , CSO at hougang , 10 am have t reach .
Baby ♥ doing his CIP there also (:

2010-03-14T04:52:00.000-07:00

Love was just a game ; Either you win or you lose .

Today , nothing much lah .
Wokeup for tuition ;
Stayed at home till 4plus , Auntie & uncle came .
Put back my blog songs (:
Went out ard 6plus t go walkwalk .
Homed ard 0815pm .
Nothing t do also . BORED .

Dont come trying t attitude me . It'll never helps .
Come testing me ? ; Come on . Just dont regret whatever things that you have been doing it t me .
I'll return t you , doubled .
I might look like a pushover t you , but I AM NEVER ONE .
If you think by showing me your attitude , got use ? ;
I can tell you it'll never .

2 more days t out 5 months , what was that ? ;

Another day t let me know , how much we have been quarreling ?

You told me whatever stuff , have you try doing it ? ; You never .
I alr dontknow what t say about you . I know you dontknow t .
What for make the both party so terrible ? ;
Yah , Im upset inside . But was that any use ? I wish it was .

Everything will never just happen like this ,
There is always a trigger point .
Let me list out everything that have happened t us .

Maybe It was really my fault . T bring up the patch .
Though you have ask me for patch but , I contact you back .
I know we shouldn't be tgt ;
You should be like the past so nothing will happened .
Somehow , I believe there were a lot of obstacles for us .
IS REALLY A LOT . !

When we started , you get t know something that you'll nvr want t know.
Someone told me bout you taking other girls number .
When I knew that , I have lost trust in you .
You seems so unfaithful .
Vincent broke us apart . He told lies .
You went t LiTing that side , saying you wantd t help her .
It brought me back t Pearlyn .
I felt so betrayed . I want t break w. you .
By that time , I felt so tired , you know ? I know you're t .
We patch for less than 2months , so much things happened.
Girls , Boys & Even Friends .
Charyl came into the picture , You went w her again . How many times you betray me time & time again ? 3rd time .
I gave alot of attitude , you hold me back ;
But , I was thinking & thinking ;
When you did all those stuffs , Have you think of me & my feelings ?
Our school friends, you said that you get jealous t .
I tried not t be w. them , time & time again , they came . NOT ME .
Now , Another guy , Edwin breaking us up again .
But , this time , dont you feel that you are overboard ?
I know you want t protect me ,
But whatever you said ? ;
Was that t solve the problem or make me more hurt ?
You care for me ? ; What you did t gain my attention ?
Can you think sensibly ?
You always said that , I always say what I think BUT , Have you ever tell me how you feel & think ? You never .
You expect me t guess ? ; Sorry , I cant neither I would want .
I kept quiet , I was waiting for you t care & tell me , Did you ?

I Dedicate this for you ;

Yesterday was gone
Today i'm waiting your final decision
Another day i wish and wish upon the star I was wishing t see the past you , once again But my wish is still undone.
You told me that You really love me
But i'm just laughing back I didn't took your words seriously.

One day You sent me this msg:

Baby, whatever happens , you must takecare of yourself. You will always the one in my heart. You're my first & also my last. You said when you made a name for yourself , You'll marry me .

I love you and no one can take over your place in me.
I told myself , you shall be the one I'll always love .

If one day I decide to lose you
It's not the reason that I don't love you anymore
I still love you as much, but . You were no longer the person who said all those things t me.

You know how long we are in love?
20 years is enough to wait
So many nights and so many days
We spent together
Through calling and texting
But , everything is failing you & me . I'm tired of giving in & loving you already .

You make me laugh You make me sad My heart cries a lot A love without you is tough.

Waiting your presence to shine Hoping our love to fulfill
But oh love everything is decline.
Cause you can never be the one in the past alr . And i know our love can never be t .
Farewell to our virtual love game
So stop it now And don't wait for me Cause it's always the same.

My last words for you, just be happy
And enjoy your life everday.
If you're feeling sad
Just remember me
I'm still here loving you baby!
Can you still fulfill your promise t me once again ? ;
I was hoping you t be back like the past ,
Always loving me , giving in t me . I know you shouted at me before , that "You're no longer that person"

I really love your past you , So innocent . Nothing have made me a cross with you around ,
Everything was just you & me ,

When we quarrel , you told me Sorry though I was at fault . You said you'll love me forever .

I broke you with time & time again . You ask for patch & kept giving in .

Why cant you just be like the past , I need you care more, you know ?
I have tried giving you care but you kept giving me violence , what else ?

2010-03-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Dont pierce your tattoo onto me .
I surrender t you .

Yesterday dint blog as for the past few days ;
I have been very tired & flared up .
I hate people saying things behind me ;

This is for the PB who tagged my blog .

If you are not happy with me , You can come find me .
I'll wait for you . My things are not t you t interfere .
Come on la. R/S is between me & him ,
Who the F**k you're t bothered ?
If you dare , come find me la . I wait for you (:
I no backing ? ; come on la . I dont need .
I can stand on myself . Want try me out ? Come .
Whatever I have done , I dare t stand firm & I mean it .
Dont come t my blog & put your tag there .
Dont let me find out who you nia ;
Like what all my friends say .
Did your parents give you the name of PB - Pu*Bye ? ;
Come on lah . You come tag me saying Im not lian , Not chio all this .
To me , Is only a comment , does not hurt me at all .
But sadly for you , My friends all read my blog ;
Tag also tag something nice la . If you cant, then F off (:
I enjoy being myself , something nasty happen t me ?
You sure not ? What can happen t me ? You come find me ?
LAME lah you , && ! Mind your own business (:
Couple quarrel you care so much for ? Need some attention, isnt ?

TODAY .
I went t CSO myself . Tired man ! ;
I have t go myself ): Wokeup ard 0650am .
Showered , Pack my stuffs , went off t train t KOVAN .
At train, wanted t sleep ): But ... I dint .

I reached KOVAN , I dontknow how t get there .
Ended up , I took a bus . Took at the wrong side .
Cab t my CSO place , if I know ; I'll cab directly .
Did some cleaning , Played magic w. the old folks .
Went off at 1230pm , Wanted t see how was Ridzwan doing .
Bus t AngMoKio , Trained t Batok .
Went t meet Subash & Suthev at YewTee MRT .
Headed t Batok , went t get ShaoKai & buy things .
Went t WestMall t eat my Breakfast combined Lunch !
Ate W. Zi Eng , Thivagar & Suthev .

Headed t Dover after that .
We reached there ard 0315pm . We were waiting for the shuttle bus .
Waited till 0408pm , Since alot of ppl walked away .
I told them t sit infront then I went t see the signboard . !

Know what I SAW ?!?! ;
Bus service on SATURDAY ends at 0215pm .

I was like ?!?! WTF . ! Damn angry la . Waited for cab .
Halfway , we bus-ed over & then walk .

Thanks t me , They all walk for ard 10 mins ? Laughs !

Finally reached there ard 0430pm , Thanks t me (:

Ridzwan like very painful sia ): * PAINPAIN !
He cant eat now ; He said he is starved for 2 days .
He have t drink milk thru the tube which reached his stomach.
Nevermind Ridzwan , I blanja you next time (:

Hilman , Willey , JunKang , SiJie , Sykuri ;
Subash , Suthev , ShaoKai , Zi Eng , Thivagar & ME ! Went there .
We were damn noisy la , Nurse came in few times sia.

Mom , dad , Charlene & Eyanne came t fetch me at 0614pm .
Went home , Damn tired .

I hope someday
that you'll be reality.
Someone I can touch.
Because you're not here
and I miss you so much.

The distance between us,
you know Honey,
it breaks my heart
You can't hear me
as I call for you
and it hurts to be so far apart.

So please, as I reach for you,
don't hesitate, take my hand.

I promise I will be here

with you till the end.

Things haven been going well for me & him lately .
Due t some matters , & stuffs .
&&& ! Passer-by , Blog hoppers , Readers . Dont comment anything .
Are you so perfect t comment ? ; Not happy w. me , come find me .

If you dontknow what have happened between me & him .

[YourComments] Keep it t yourself .

Like the [PB] seems so "knowledgeable" / Come on la .

If you are not happy with me , come & find me .
Things between me & him are quarrels , what for you care ? ;
Yah , If Im lian, does that bother you ? ;
My attitude, My life . I know it MYSELF .
He also can tolerate my attitude, you care for ?

Everything is between ME & HIM .

I still love him like the past ;
But is hard for me t accept what you have done for the past few days .
Is not easy t forgive , Im serious .
Im trying t , Stop dragging things out t talk w. me .
If you want drag , I cant also . But , Did I ?
Im not there when you need me , did you went I need ? ;
You did things t get my attention but can at least do something that is right ?

You said QUARRELS ARE COMMON FOR COUPLES .
But what are we quarreling about ? ; Think first la bi .

Is not that I dont miss you , I did .
But is just that , my anger took over my love .

2010-03-11T05:31:00.000-08:00

I damn angry plus sot .

This few days , alot of unpleasant things have been happening .

Yesterday , handphone spoilt . survive through [:
Got my phone today .
Alot of things happened ystd & today .
I shall not mentioned neither I have t the mood t say lah .
If things arent meant, so be it .

You think you very ZAI by asking all your BACKING come ? ;
Please, Want play backing , I anything .
But , think twice la . I dint call him cos I defend him ? ;
You dont understand , dont anyhow say la .
Please , when I need your care , where are you ?
When you say , when you need me , then ? ;
What you did t gain my care ? ; STUPID THINGS ?
come on , there are 101 ways t gain my trust .
Dont be the one always saying me . Pin-pointing me .
Yah , I might have alot of attitude , then ? ; Thats me .
You dont have ? ; how many times must you hurt then happy ?
I really tired of it , what I never care .

Today when I ask you back for the sticker , you gave .
So means what ? We end or you are prepared t give up ?
If you are , tell me .

Dont say it so loud that you cant be bothered ;
Then you tell me that is a moment of anger .
If it is , that is it , come on , I can too but did I ?
You everytime pissed me off with the hurt or scolding then ?
I used Edwin ?
Yah , I did cos you think that only you can pissed me off .

You made me feel so sucks on that day & today .

Yesterday night , I did waited for you for 15 mins on the phone .
You slept , fine . I wont do such a silly thing again .
I so tired of holding the R/S . Everything is just causing me hurt .
Giving up might be good for both of us .
I can see your improvement in studies ;
But , In terms of your attitude - you're going from bad - worst .
Somehow , I cant feel the bond anymore .
I really got damn stress up w. myself. Blame myself .
If you are that strong , Go ahead . I wont care anymore .

You said that you wont care , be a man of your words .
I'll t , I wont care since you dont want .
Means what you say .
You think w. Hilman they all then you can shout at me ? ;
Come on, you shout that out , MEAN IT . Dont just act .
& In the end come telling me that you're sorry or whatever shit .
I cant be bother by then already .

Go with them la , since THEY'RE YOUR BROTHERS .

SERIOUSLY , the more I think , The more I dont want to be with you.
I want my own life .
Till now , already 09:47pm , 11March2010 .
Im still thinking what things have I not done enough , What thing ?
You tell me lah , I really dont know what I hav not done .
I think we both need time , I really need .

Let time heals bah . If time cant heal , then leave it like this .

2010-03-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

THIS POST IS FOR U MY BELOVED BABY

things have changed much aft wad i did.

u said i dont care for u!

but when i called u to stay there,what were u doin when i went back up?

i really miss u alot now,hoping to see ur smile.

i dont want to see u like this.

baby i really do care for you in this 2years8months

even when im nt with u,i still often get jealous when u are with boys.

during tht 1 year,i was like nth to you

i care for u alot tht time n i really miss u

did nt have de courage to ask u for patch cuz i did u wrong

im sorry

now we are back tgt yet things are happening non stop.

its part of mine n oso part of urs

i really care for u,wadeva i said to u,it was juz a moment of anger like u did it too

i noe u care for me,but is it needed to scold me?

was it even needed to use de word 'break'?

im wondering what is so good about edwin?

till u could use me n compare with him

i have said wad i want to

call me if thers anything ok?

i love n miss u=(

2010-03-09T04:45:00.000-08:00

When you & your lies tell me that you're not mine .

Today , alot of things make me damn damn sot .
Really is alot .
On war with him for 2 days already .
Damn tired for some how . Mrs Ng never come today .
2 free periods . Nothing t do .
P.E. quarrel & showed him attitude .
Guess what is the hot favorite of my school now .
I shall not say it out . Let you guys guess .
Im damn sot w. him when he did that . Cant be bother la.
He want t die , I also cant stop him .
I can tell you , I wont forgive you neither I'll try .
Maths , done worksheet .
Dontknow what t post already .
Takecare people .
Not in the mood t post at all .

Damn it Pictures , read it .

Know what is this ? ; Nitrous Oxide .
People call this LAUGHING GAS .
Iit can kill ppl .
My friend , Dorwin played this killed her .

Nitrous oxide, commonly known as happy gas or laughing gas, is a chemical compound with the Chemical formula N₂O. At room temperature, it is a colorless non flammable gas , with a pleasant, slightly sweet odor and taste. It is used in surgery and dentistry for its anesthetic. It is known as "laughing gas" due to the euphoric effects of inhaling it, a property that has led to its recreational use as a dissociative drug.

It is also used as an oxidizer in rocketry and in motor racing to increase the power output of engines.

At elevated temperatures, nitrous oxide is a powerful oxidizer similar to molecular oxygen. For example, nitrous oxide in a test tube will re-ignite a smoldering splint.

2010-03-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

Damn sick .
No pictures already so posted this picture .

Today, dint went t school .
Seen the doctor's & went home t rest .
Online talk t Jeffrey awhile ;
Went t bed as have t go sch tmr .
Quarrel w. him , Im sick of it .
I dont know when will end this , dont drag on man .

***K , I wont use that on my blog .
I got damn frustrated somehow .
My temper is getting worst alr !

2010-03-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

When my smile turn my heart into pain.

Dad is back today suppose t be morning ;
But ended up , late afternoon .
Went out around 9plus ,
Send Clarance t serangoon fr his BBall .
Send Charlene t her class at town , for her acting class .
She wants t be a actress next time ! [:
Went t Vivo , wantd t pick dad up but he is not ready .
Went t change Charlene shorts at FOX , Went back t town .
Wait fr Charlene very long ! ; Meet dad & pick Clarance .
Went t town again , ate sakae again .
Went home awhile , went out w mom t Prince florist t get flowers .
Went t Aunty Wendy house , after that head home .
Time for bed ! ; Yawns .
Quarrel w. Him again due t some matters .
Tired about it, seriously .

Pictures ,

Lobster sushi , quite nice [:
ate 4 plates of this !

The florist there [:

2010-03-06T03:58:00.000-08:00

You can never understand what was my hurt .

Today really enjoyed myself during CSO though Im tired [:
Had alot of fun . Talk w. AhNg , Molly , Amy & some old folks .
I enjoy my CSO there though it is far that I have t wakeup early.

Dad was on cruise , for his company .
Mom woke me up at 0730am , went t grab my breakfast at burger king.
Headed t CSO after that .
Change the window paper (: I strong hor ? (:
Did some work then ended at 1230pm .
Mom came t fetched me, went t Bugis .
Had sakae sushi as my lunch , went back t my auntie's shop.
Help her abit then headed t East Coast Beach .
Had some fun there , roller blading .
Charlene was also rollar blading ;
But !! She held onto my clothes as she was afraid.
Headed back home after that , had XinWang again as my dinner .
Tired ! ):

Enjoy the pictures (:

Ah Ng (:
My good friend !

Got flies ): alot of dead insects !

the dirty things .

dust & dead insects

dust .

The dustbin .

After the decor .

Resting at east coast .

Holding Charlene .

2010-03-05T05:29:00.000-08:00

Like music on the waters is your sweet voice to me

Yah , today shall be a long post about alot of things (:

Lets start from my day ; How was my day today /✭
It wasn't any good .

I know people have been visiting my blog , Even teachers .
I know .
But , this is freedom of speech ,
if you aren't happy w. my anything ,
Tell my straight on my face & Not those people around me .
Cause if you say behind me , I cant hear neither I can feel .
Dont need t look around f you're the one . Im saying you .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LATIFAH !

FINALLY 16 ALREADY . !
Can watch Wolfman (:

Morning , Went t school as usual .
Got damn flared up , Baby ✭ said JunBin t wait for him .
I was like , come on leh . Baby ✭ going t school , what for late w. him ?
End-up , never late . Baby ✭ come school on time .
I know Baby ✭ have been doing alot of things t show me that he is interested in studies .

Mother tongue reading ;
Collection of donations .
Got at least abit , better than last time (:

Maths ;
Did worksheet again , First t Completed [:

Chinese ;
Chinese teacher is leaving already .
Due t her illness & my class behavior .
; Now understand how is 4N2 like ?
Draw some pictures .

Baby (:
He only got 18 strand of hair on his head .

Me ! Geeky (:

English ;
Did comprehension .
I also dontknow why I feel so down suddenly when Im blogging .

Recess !
Celebrated Latifah's Birthday (:
Got cake all this , she kena bumped & poured water on .
I bumped her t (: Haha !

Pictures , Enjoy (:

The birthday cake (:

She got splash (:

Suhaimi , come down !
Later table break ):

History ;
Had test , quite hard as I forget how t do source based .
Now essay is much easier due t alot of practice .
Mr Ong came halfway t my lesson .
He said I was irresponsible . I apologise & I meant it .
He just show me the dontcare attitude .. Why ?
I really care for my work , I rush just t go see you . Im sorry .
I dint have the mood t do my test further .
Stayed back till quite late , just t complete the test , & some work .

Homed at 0445pm , Tired & shag .
Wanting t sleep . Went t XinWang Cafe t hav my dinner .
Homed after that (: Took care of Eyanne.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Pan , Happy 2 years anniversary .
040308 , 0748am we begin .

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

Somehow or rather , I know I have hurt you very deep .
Yah , I know my words are harsh .
Im sorry .

Pan , you got t understand that ,
I do care but I dint show the care you wanted.

I know you're ALWAYS there for me ;
-When I need you ,
-When I cry ,
-When I feel so down ,
-When I needed your ears ,
-When I needed your help ,
-& Even when I wanted t vent anger on .

The character of every act depends upon the circumstances in which it is done.

Pan , I really have missed you since the day you left .

I remember what we ever promised ,
We wont quarrel ,
We wont fight over things ,
We wont leave each other .

I ever said before , when the day we quarrel is the day we'll end .
& It really came true , Pan .
Pan , I'll try t be like the past like you did for me .

Pan , when you want people t accept you .
You have t changed t prove them pan .
You have t know that , What you're doing now wasnt the last time you .
I know I also abit not like the first day I came out from there .

A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.

So , I just want you t know .
Though we aren't as close like the past ; I want you t change for the better .
I dont want your now , but the last time you , Pan .

I want you , the wanting t study , very guai , telling what is right & wrong .
Pan , I want you t tell me what is right & wrong .

A true friend is someone who knows there’s something wrong ,
Even when you have the biggest smile on your face.
Never try to hide your sorrows from your friends,
They will find out anyway even if you tried hard.

Pan , I want you t know that .
I'll wait for you t change , like what you have did .
You waited for me 12 months = 1 year for me t change .
Pan , Im sorry . I didnt have the patience t wait .
Now , I'll , alright ?
You're still important t me . Like the past .

PAN , YOU GOT TO CHANGE FOR ME & YOURSELF .

Pan , we'll be like the past , alright ? ;

CharmaineT. Loves KellieS.

2010-03-04T05:28:00.000-08:00

Everything that have happen ,
You cant change the facts anymore .

Today , tired & still quarrel alot .
Today , 2 free periods .
My poor Mrs Ng didnt come t school as she was sick .
Physics , had test . This test cant make it. Never study .
Chinese , did some work (:
SocialStudies - Free period. Talk t Mr Fiarus .
Quarrel with Baby , Went t recess .
I scare he hungry , I Buy things for him t eat .
Chingyou helped me t pass t Zi Eng then he pass t Baby .
Chemistry , Did some work .
English , free period again , Talked t Mr Fiarus (:
Very fun (L) talk alot of things , got ghost stories ! [:
Headed out of school then study again .
Went home early as got tuition .
Tuition , Fun (:
Went home t changed , Went off t Sunshine plaza t eat .
I saw QinZhe they all .
Went home after that ; Tired now .
Im so sick & tired of my life & quarrels .
When will all this stop sia .

PICTURES .

2010-03-03T06:01:00.000-08:00

If I die, takecare of yourself ;
I can no longer do the same anymore .

Today , went t school.
As usual , had all my lesson .
Chemistry didnt get what I expected ;
Went t ChoaChuKang Poly t go fr my smoking cessation ; Baby accompany me.
Went t Lot 1 awhile as I wanted t walk walk awhile .
Headed home after that , Mom, Dad & charlene went t Orchard .
I stayed at home, took care of Eyanne .

Somehow , Im damn stress .
Im going t say everything & vent everything out .

I have been facing alot of stress . Is ALOT .
I find that I cant take it & I am having suicide thoughts .

Family :
My parents' expectations .
My time for going out .
My time for using computers .
I still get scoldings .
Father scold, Mother scold .
Eyanne .

BoyF. :
Our both attitude , behavior .
His tantrums , His everything .
Quarrels .

School :
Teachers , Counselor , Friends .
`Their attitude .
`Their reports .
`Their behavior .

Myself .
I have t keep everything freaking thing in myself .
If one day , I burst out ; I confirm die .
I even dare t die now , really .
I dare t do anything now .

When one day you see my blog is dead for long ;
You should know what have happened .
Im tired .

Memories are still in my heart .

Baby drew it on my leg .

My hands .

His hand , I drew it .

2010-03-02T04:12:00.000-08:00

Heart that end everything ,

It take time & courage t make a person change ,
But it doesn't that you changed , everyone will accept you .
When you changed , you pay the price that you change .
Is harded for everyone t accept that you have done something they cant ever accept .

I begin t realize, Im changing back t my past .
My attitude , behaviour ; How can I change back ?
I ask Baby today , 2 times .
Once in the morning , once in the evening .

Morning*
Me: Baby, I got changed back t last time anot ah ?
Baby: shook his shoulder & say dontknow .

Evening*
Me: (Talking t Baby on the phone) Baby , I got changed back t last time ?
Baby: Yah , abit .

Hai , My life is like abit kinda mess up . Dontknow why .
Im so tired of it , SUDDENLY .
I DONT WANT T BE LIKE MY PAST .

I heard my school report , I was like sian alr lah .
My parent & officer both also said is satisfactory & yet my school ?
; Come on lah . Haven I been putting n my effort ?!
I study & study , only now i slack abit , result lost 2-3 marks .
I got so damn stress up lah .
I not implying that anyone's stress BUT MINE .
& IM NEITHER COMPARING . !

Morning , enrichment ! SUCKS , BORED .
Went t class aft recess t study , sian lah .
Assembly , tired & study again .
Next wk seems t be my chinese oral .
Suddenly , I can feel the stress pumping into me like blood flows .
I wish that everything is STRESS-FREE , CAN ?

Today , I saw friend d MSN personal message ;
& it says ,
" Life is only once , live it without any regrets - Joe , stay happy in heaven"

I realised , it was my friend, Joe's 2 year death anniversary le .
Time flies ; Time is never forever , it doesn't wait for you .
Im so sorry that I cant go pay respect t him .
He was once a nice guy , treating his girlf. very well .
Till on day , he told his girlf. he is under alot of stress & he decided t die .

He called me , telling me ,
*"sister , you have been a very nice person t me & caring fr me."
I was very shocked , I was like laughing lah ! ;

But like 10 mintues later , JiaMin called me & said , Joe is dead .
I realised I didnt save him , I cried .
He didnt wanted his girlf. t worried , so straight after he called, he jump.
He is a nice guy , really . He died as he really have too much pressure & stress .
He is also smiling everyday , talking & joke like fine .
Till that day , I shall never forget .

If one day , I was about t die, anyone is there ? ;
I really afraid I cant cope well with everything & I ended up w. DEATH .

Takecare people .

PICTURES OF THE DAY (:

2010-03-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

When something made you tired,
You wont be having anymore thinking on it .

Very tiring today & alot of things have happened ;
& made me more flared up .

Went t school as usual ;
So tired of it sia when something happen & spoil my mood.
He didnt come school today , we quarreled & a small thing - BIG thing .
YAH . I made it BIG ; Somehow , Im so tired of quarreling already !

P.E. Stayed at class did some chinese work .
Went t recess .
Arts , talked w. Zi Eng (:
I didnt know so many people reading my blog sia .
Even Phoebe Lum reads my blog too . OHMY .
Hahaha , Crap around with her .
Went out of school awhile then study time again .

Back home ard 0445pm , Nothing much t say .
But , so tired of alot of things .
Stress keep me down ,
Smiling doesnt mean IM FINE .

Pictures of the day [:

2010-02-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

Only if understanding is easy t understand .

Woah , tired , sick & frustrated .
Due t some stuff ystd, damn pissed me off.
Wokeup for tuition , ystd I care for Eyanne , so abit tired .
Thanks mom , She brought Mac breakfast for me (:
Headed t tuition , dad nag as I was late .
Tired ; Went t tuition , science for 1 & 1/2 hour , 30 mins for maths (:
Came back , showered , changed & headed t Paya Lebar .
Trained there , damn long lah . Saw my friend , chat awhile then he went t study .
Damn long lah , I thought it would be fast . REGRETTED .
Wanted t cab halfway d but like abit waste my money .
Trained all the way t paya lebar , still carried my heavy things !
Cab-ed t Ahma house , 4 bucks only .
Ate , talk , did my art , play , joke ;
& headed t Joo Chiat t buy dumplings .
Homed around 0430pm , carried on w. my arts & online .
Tired ! ; Quarrel w. him .
Im so tired, can ? Till I wanted t end .
Going t sleep soon , school tmr .

Will talk more on tmr post , so stay tuned .

Let the pictures speak me out .